Gerbong perempuan di belakang itu bukan policy failure. You know what is?
Negara gagal mendidik laki-laki to not be a huge misogynistic perverted piece of shit is a policy failure,
Negara ga menyelesaikan proyek double track disaat KAI punya Argo Bromo yang merupakan salah satu kereta jarak jauh tercepat mereka is a policy failure,
KAI sebagai pemilik rel kalah sama preman yang menolak adanya rambu/penghalang resmi is a policy failure,
Preman dibiarkan dan dipelihara oleh negara untuk jadi attack dog mereka terhadap kelompok oposisi / kalangan politik/agama tertentu is a policy failure,
Perusahaan taksi punya policy yang ga manusiawi kepada driver mereka, ga ngelatih dengan baik, dan mengancam denda kalau diderek bukan oleh derek perushaan is a policy failure,
Tata kota dan pengembangan kota satelit Jakarta yang tidak beorientasi pada transit is a policy failure.
Faktor lain yang langka dan sulit banget ditemukan dalam berpasangan tuh,
'Rasa aman intelektual'.
Banyak pasangan punya Sex, traveling, konser, museum date, foto aesthetic.
Tapi pas pulang ke rumah, udah kehabisan topic selama 15 menit karna ga punya bab percakapan yg hidup.
Wkwkwk ini peak millenial experience waktu tahun segtu
Gua setuju kalo umur 22 traveling model begini itu sangat fun and doable. Kalo udh 32 agak berat kalo begini
i dream of never being called resilient again in my life. i’m exhausted by strength. i want support. i want softness. i want ease. i want to be amongst kin. not patted on the back for how well i take a hit. or for how many.
Unpopular but 10/10 recommend learning how to shamelessly ask for all that you want. you’ll be surprised at how many people are willing to simply give it to you
My therapist told me:
“When a person grows up feeling unseen, they learn to love by over-giving. They pour into everyone else, hoping that, one day, someone will finally pour back into them. So they become the care taker. The fixer. The one who shows up, even when no one shows up for them.”
And the hardest part? Deep down, they're not trying to be strong. They're just waiting for someone to do for them what they've spent their whole life doing for everyone else.
Panduan Singkat Penyampaian Kritik di Ruang Digital
1. Hindari menyerang individu, fokus pada kebijakan.
❌ “Pejabat ini tidak kompeten.”
✅ “Kebijakan ini menunjukkan kelemahan dalam perencanaan dan eksekusi"
2. Hindari tuduhan langsung.
❌ “Mereka sengaja merugikan rakyat.”
✅ “Menurut penilaian saya, kebijakan ini berpotensi berdampak merugikan.”
3. Hindari bahasa merendahkan.
❌ “Keputusan tolol.”
✅ “Keputusan ini kurang berbasis kajian yang memadai.”
4. Hindari ajakan provokatif atau mobilisasi emosional.
❌ “Lawan sekarang.”
✅ “Perlu pengawasan publik dan diskusi yang lebih serius.”
5. Hindari klaim faktual dan penyebutan nama tanpa rujukan.
❌ “Institusi A selalu gagal mengelola kebijakan ini.”
✅ “Menurut laporan media Tempo, implementasi kebijakan ini.. "
6. Hindari kritik yang mengarah ke SARA.
❌ “Golongan X memang selalu jadi sumber masalah.”
✅ “Praktik tertentu dalam kasus ini menimbulkan persoalan serius.”
Tetaplah bersuara, meski tak senyaman sebelumnya.
The only advice you need if you’re in your 30s.
If you’re in your 30s, understand this: this decade is not about proving yourself to the world anymore. It’s about deciding who you are without noise. Your 20s were for exploration, chaos, and identity formation. Your 30s are for integration. You already know what you’re good at, what drains you, what patterns repeat in your life. Ignoring that knowledge now is not innocence - it’s avoidance. The biggest mistake men make in their 30s is pretending they’re still “figuring it out” when, deep down, they already know what they should be doing and are scared of committing to it fully.
This is the decade where focus beats intensity. In your 20s, raw effort and long hours could compensate for lack of direction. In your 30s, unfocused effort becomes exhausting very quickly. You can still work extremely hard, but it has to be aimed. Pick fewer things and go deeper. Say no more often. Protect your energy like it matters because now it does. Burnout in your 30s doesn’t come from working too hard; it comes from working hard on things that don’t align with who you are anymore.
Take responsibility at a higher level. Not just for yourself, but for outcomes. In your 30s, people start depending on you - teammates, family, partners, juniors. This is where real leadership begins, even if you don’t have the title. Leadership isn’t dominance or control; it’s reliability under pressure. It’s being the calm one when things go wrong. It’s choosing long-term stability over short-term validation. The men who rise here aren’t the loudest - they’re the ones others trust when things break.
Your body and mind now respond to consistency, not heroics. You can’t outwork bad habits anymore. Sleep, training, nutrition, and mental hygiene are no longer optional optimizations - they’re prerequisites. Ignore them and everything else degrades quietly: decision-making, patience, confidence, creativity. Take care of your health not to look good, but to stay dangerous - sharp, present, capable - for decades.
Emotionally, this is the decade to finish growing up. Unresolved anger, insecurity, or ego that felt “normal” in your 20s will now cap your growth. Do the internal work. Learn to communicate clearly. Learn to take feedback without collapsing or becoming defensive. Learn to love without needing control. A man who avoids this work may still succeed externally, but he will feel increasingly hollow as responsibilities grow.
Finally, play the long game consciously. Your 30s are where compounding becomes visible in skills, wealth, reputation, relationships. The gap between people widens fast here, not because of talent, but because of sustained direction. Put feedback loops in place. Review your life regularly. Adjust, but don’t drift. You don’t need urgency anymore - you need alignment.
This decade isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about fully becoming who you already are - on purpose.