Sixth Form Poet

Please buy my book, I owe people money.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

Just had an idea. If the economy continues to struggle, maybe we could try to commercialise Christmas in some way this year.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

Top Googled Images of the New Year - https://t.co/kCapWbK9uZ

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

Classic Make-Up Looks to Rock - https://t.co/DBifF6H2AU

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

Important Items to Keep In Your Bag - https://t.co/JjQOpj7gSy

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

Basic Rules For Beauty - https://t.co/R5YkLojOsC

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

The England/Brazil game is back on. They were concerned the stadium might not remain upright, but Pele’s “magic pills” have sorted it out.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

I'm like a fine wine. Always being drunk somewhere.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

An octopus is really just a very slippery bagpipe.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

Saturn isn't just *good* at hula-hooping, it's out of this world.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

I appeared in lots of best-dressed lists in my salad days.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

"I'll have what she's having." - Me, watching a woman having a nervous breakdown.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

The handsome road-worker is always getting his asphalt.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

I've been left to my own devices. Now wishing I had better devices.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

For Christmas, I'm giving my family framed copies of my latest bank statement and a sincere apology.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

If people winked as much in real life as they do on Twitter, I'd feel very uncomfortable all of the time.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

It's truly amazing that mankind survived so long without people knowing exactly how quickly their friends just ran five miles.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

No matter how bad a film is, you’ve paid your money so walking out is ridiculous. Especially if you’re watching that film on a plane.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

It's so sad that the pigeons you see waiting on train platforms don't realise they can fly.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

Just bought Groundhog Day on Amazon. Surprised there wasn't a "same-day delivery" option.

[Sixth Form Poet @sixth_formpoet]

Miscellaneous means “of mixed composition or character”, so it’s great that it uses ten different letters. Well done, Miscellaneous.