If you're struggling in life do NOT feel embarrassed or try to mask the truth. You're only going to hurt yourself. Instead accept where you are, plan, take action, and communicate with the ones you love so that they can help you and keep you accountable.
If there's one thing I learned this year just from other peoples situations alone, never put it past people no matter how long you've known them. They'll do you how you think they are in your head. You're not being paranoid