Samat Jukeshov

А недосказанность она как ...
IT направленный аккаунт на @jukeshov

[Samat Jukeshov @sjukeshov]

Английский двухэтажный автобус с окнами на распашку, заходи не хочу просто

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Samat Jukeshov @sjukeshov]

@ViralXfun 60 easy

[Mad Devs @MadDevsIO]

Streamline your Ethereum smart-contract development with our ready-to-use pre-configured hardhat-mad-boiler development environment.

https://t.co/0xUdWwCiH3

[Lior Alexander @LiorOnAI]

This is mind blowing technology. Generative AI will completely change how films are made.

From: @Flawlessai

[Daniel Vartanov @daniel_vartanov]

No, chatGPT will not replace programmers, but the programmers who use chatGPT will replace those who don't

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

Evolution of the bicycle.

[Samat Jukeshov @sjukeshov]

@thegreatindoorr Активные пользователи Твиттера

[Tech Burrito @TechBurritoUno]

This robot “thinks” differently

[Baktybek Beshimov @bakytbeshimov]

Русские перешли к тотальной войне по уничтожению Украины.

А теперь на минутку представьте, если бы они победив Украину, вновь напали бы на Среднюю Азию. Если они с такой жестокостью и ненавистью бьют близкий им народ, то в Средней Азии они лютовали бы беспредельно.

[Samat Jukeshov @sjukeshov]

Текущий список необходимого, отвёз подгузники в свою очередь. Не оставайтесь в стороне

[Kaktus Media @kaktus__media]

Маленькая героиня и ее большой вклад. Второклассница Асия принесла свои деньги, которые копила на слуховой аппарат, в штаб сбора гуманитарной помощи жителям Баткена и военнослужащим. https://t.co/ixQzrD0RMl

[Stand For Batken @ForBatken]

Жүрөгүбүз жабыркайт. Баары жакшы болот элим! Баары жакшы болот менин мекеним - менин Кыргызстаным! ❤️
#StandWithKyrgyzstan
#KyrgyzstanUnderAttack

[Azat Ravshan @AzatRavshan]

We must not forget that the president of #Tajikistan, Emomali Rahmon, is the main Puppet of #Putin in the Central Asia region. The #Tajik government, especially the military, heavily depends on #Russia and looks out for Putin's interest in Central Asia.

[печенька @qropty]

Тред. Прошу распространить!

Почему в условиях, когда две страны Кыргызстан и Таджикистан обвиняют друг друга в эскалации конфликта, я будучи таджиком на кыргызской стороне?

[Sumsarbek @SumsarbekObbO]

как говорится, почувствуй разницу.

Рашисткий ТГ канал и Украинский

[Azim Azimov @azim_azimovv]

Я не знаю, как вы находите слова, что описывать происходящее. Самое обидное, таджики сегодня нападают на нас даже не из-за ресурсов. Два людоеда – Рахмон с Путиным – решают свои политзадачи. Как горько, что война становится привычным для них инструментом, чтобы держаться у власти

[Samat Jukeshov @sjukeshov]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Samat Jukeshov @sjukeshov]

"Hybrid Theory - 20th Anniversary" - что????!!!!