Alyssa Taylor

Dog Mom. Workaholic. Basically Leslie Knope with the humor of Andy Dwyer. ❤️

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

Today an older man stopped me while I was picking up my dogs poop to tell me he liked my dog poop bags... I think? It was in French...

How is your day so far?

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

Breakin my Twitter silence to bring you: a man just yelled at me in French for not having a cigarette for him, to which a woman and I side-eyed connected and shook our heads, then she winked. Guys. I dont speak French. #switzerlandisdope

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

Is anyone else torn up about Star Wars ROS? I actually feel Kylo's conflicting emotions as my own. On the one hand, what was that uninspired unoriginal story? On the other, I received some satisfaction. But damn that cast delivered. #stillprocessing #StarWarsRiseofSkywalker

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

I love when people "Reply All" and insult you because they didn't realize you're in said "Reply All." Aren't publishers supposed to be professional? #whatthefuck

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

@tylerschmall I hate that you make me laugh Tyler.

[AJ Joshi @AJ]

Trump talks about his relationship with Putin back in 2013 🤔 #Confused #1in

[Jesus Christ Edge Lord Parody & Savior @Jesus_M_Christ]

I'd come back sooner, but even I can't get through customs now.

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

So I only now realized that as a young professional my twitter handle is widely inappropriate & handles can't be changed. #scoops

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

Scoops. Throwing some serious shade. I do love him. https://t.co/nC8HXCpCSa

[Mathieu von Rohr @mathieuvonrohr]

"So we recalculated our state budget using #Volkswagen software and now we're practically debt-free"

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

Mannheim graduate school graduation ceremony!! They gave us buttons. The wine and flowers are from… https://t.co/vkrOL96dZr

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

Getting bikini body confident with @kayla_itsines 12 week training guide! Follow! #kaylaitsines #health #fitness http://t.co/RNbBsSyFjw

[Expat Problems @ExpatProblems_]

Telling family your big good news over Skype…. not quite the same.
#expatproblems

[Expat Problems @ExpatProblems_]

Avoiding spoilers for your favorite show is like being in an obstacle course all the time.
#expatproblems

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

@nerdynora naturally i am just now seeing this... but brava, muggle hustle figured out the secret. ;)

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

@Dylan__Lee don't hate cuz you ain't. #lovemefeedmeneverleaveme #imbackkkk

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

@UrkaSoLucky yes yes yes yes. Only the truth. Because we rock!!

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

@Kit_Lewis I just saw that tweet!! Baaaahhhh ☺️I feel so special! I love you oodles!! Miss you already 😘

[Alyssa Taylor @skandaLYSS]

“@AnimalDisguises: Dog dressed up as a cute giraffe. http://t.co/eaWS9z9v9E” @mackiecheezer omg yes