Bango Skank

Bio? More like biohazard. DON'T PANIC.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

If my boss is looking for me please tell him I'm pooping. Don't mention this tweet.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

It's weird that my hair and finger nails will keep growing even after you've died.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

I always reuse condoms just never for sex.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

How many used condoms on the floor is too many used condoms on the floor?

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

Girlfriend just splashed water all over my phone. That calls for a break up, right?

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

My girlfriend and I are gonna be Al and Peg Bundy for halloween. I'm nervous about having to walk in heels.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

Where the fuck did @SickPics_ go!?

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

If you're my girlfriend and you're trying on new undies and not sending me pictures my question is WHY NOT? I have to eat out of those....

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

Bango Skank is very lucky to have a girl as great as the one he has.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

If my phone dies before I finish shitting I'm gonna kill myself. Too over dramatic?

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

My biggest fear is that one of you will steal my weed.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

I promise to always be not the smartest person you know.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

There is no amount of weed that could get me ready for work today.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

Apparently I'm only funny to strangers.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

Why are some flip flops so loud?

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

If your cat/dog isn't up your ass right now it's because it's puking in the other room. Trust me.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

Living with a woman is the same as living in a house with no electrical outlets. Where the fuck am I supposed to plug my shit in?

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

Watching the movie Selena with the girlfriend makes me wish we weren't watching Selena.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

Try to think outside the box. Always cum outside the box. Or use a condom. Just be careful guys.

[Bango Skank @skank_bango]

What's a nice way to tell my sister to stop sending me pictures of her baby? It's cute, I get it. Should I just respond with cat pictures?