stan

the cool kid from speech therapy

[stan @skeletonhentai]

The b in lgbt stands for bald

[stan @skeletonhentai]

It’s like my grandma always said “it’s all fun and games until the lightening bugs try to fuck your vape”

[stan @skeletonhentai]

DoorDash always putting food in the weirdest places

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Imagine and old mafia movie but instead of cigars they’re smoking vapes and the whole room smells of mangos

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Without explaining that I was talking about the teenage mutant turtles backstory I told my gf that baby turtles were exposed to radiation and made her sad :(

[stan @skeletonhentai]

You don’t realize how fast paced a workplace is until you try to eat a cheese stick and ain’t got no hands for 45 seconds

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Had my first espresso martini and felt the curse of the Pharos lifted from my shoulders

[stan @skeletonhentai]

@claudesowen

[stan @skeletonhentai]

The thing about learning an instrument is that you gotta learn a really stupid, fun song first. I always suggest sandstorm

[stan @skeletonhentai]

I feel like it’s rare that I see something and think “damn, technology has gone too far” and then I saw how the Panama Canal works and damn, technology has gone too far.

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Love when coworkers say im calm under pressure. I couldn’t care less if this company died. It’s called apathy, babe

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Using my ugly privilege to sit alone on the train

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Cops are coming hide your hot cash

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Sometimes you’re doing well and other times you listen to Oasis’s Champagne Supernova on repeat just to feel something (rage)

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Decided to learn a t swift song on the banjo and it fkn broke my banjo. Wasn’t a fan before but now she is my nemesis

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Watching The Terrifier: haha clown goes bonkers

When the side effect include high blood pressure: I’m going to pass out

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Yes I watch gory movies but no I cannot listen to commercials that list medication side effects

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Throwback to when I was half awake and thought I was having a full convo with my gf but instead just yelled “beautiful” and fell asleep

[stan @skeletonhentai]

“I can’t neither read nor write but I’m pretty good w horses” that’s bc horses know they can manipulate you easily and are feasting on the weak

[stan @skeletonhentai]

New rule that states you can’t celebrate the 4th of July after the fkn 4th of July

[stan @skeletonhentai]

Indiana Jones and the Dick of Hardening. Is that anything