Mike Walters

Montana.little kid bikes.snowboards.good music. #TeamIOnlyFollowPeopleIGiveAShitAbout

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

If you can't handle me at my worst I don't blame you because I can be a total ass.

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

Calling "shotgun" when your getting arrested is a great way to lighten the mood.

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

I fucking curse because it fucking emphasizes my fucking point.

[Mike Walters @sketchEmike]

Then blocked RT"@onsomeshit: When a 12 year old girl follows you on Instagram you're allowed a moment of wtf"

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

I’m simultaneously the nicest and meanest person you’ll ever meet.

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 73 of them.

[Mike Walters @sketchEmike]

Hardened criminal : a thief with a boner? @MontanaRicky

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

That urge you get to write, "No one gives a shit" on someone's status.

[Montana Ricky @MontanaRicky]

Jesse G owns the game of Hate.. #overload @SaySumtinBMX @sketchEmike @bmxsuxnow

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

People shouldn't be allowed to get their license until they beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart.

[Mike Walters @sketchEmike]

WORD RT"@bobby_dewit: My sisters are self centered ignorent bitchs"

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

You call them "swear words", and I call them "sentence enhancers"

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

PMS = Prepare to meet Satan.

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

Oh, you post Bible verses on Facebook? You're definitely getting into heaven.

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

*Turns on radio* "Shine bright like a-" *Turns off radio*

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

I guess Kim let Kanye finish.

[Anthony Raneri @AnthonyRaneri]

If Costco has taught us anything it's that people love free samples and that maybe kids on leashes isn't too bad of an idea after all

[adam22 @adam22]

Everyone else is saying not to drink and drive, and I hate when everyone is saying the same shit. So fuck it, do it, you'll be fine.

[adam22 @adam22]

Just kidding, don't drink and drive. Because you might spill your drink! Ayooooo!

[adam22 @adam22]

my 2013 prediction is that at least 40 of my followers will have a "popped a molly, i'm sweating" tweet waiting for me tomorrow morning