クリス

[Charli @charli_xcx]

kamala IS brat

[intercogg. @danghentschel]

#SorryNotSorry

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

Uber driver(about to turn left into oncoming traffic) : I’m not religious bro. I’m all about truth. I’m a virgo. But that’s the thing bro god isn’t religious either. Hes the truth. God is the truth

me (last moments on earth): God goes crazy

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

I would have swallowed it rlly fast

[Galan❤️☀️💚 @GalanZJ1]

The first time a French man tasted Coca-Cola, 1950.

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

Me and housemates

[one of ur hoes @miliondollameat]

this is how pussy should be eaten for the full immersive experience

[rin ☾⋆⁺₊⋆🇵🇸 @rinnystarr]

it’s farting on the dance floor. you better not do a poo

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

just bought him a “replacement” bottle filled with more flour and water

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

used all my fuckwit housemates milk and filled it up half with water and half with flour

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

and by joie de vivre, I mean I frequently consume semen

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

I have a certain unrelenting joie de vivre that most folk will never attain

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

Follow up: cumming = optional

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

Idea: pill that makes cock huge

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

@LIL_ICEBUNNY what’s doing in Amsterdang

[Axe @westernunion2k]

Customers will say shit like "Uhh it's asking me to remove my card?"

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

@ferromagnetmatt how? u find it?

[クリス @skiingdoberman]

First born name brainstorm:
Hydrax (make they sound like toxic waste) ☢️☣️