Shawn Klimko

Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moon light

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

@Mrhflrs @jmcmana this is great

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

Never thought I would say it, but I need a break from pizza

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

Might have just seen the biggest deer of my life, and it was just strolling down my street in Parma

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

You know it’s not a twist off, you just had the same beer an hour ago....picks up beer, twists top #damnit

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

Here’s to putting off Elf on the shelf for at least 1 more year 🥃

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

I’ve been sick the last couple days, this morning I was coughing so hard I thought I might throw up, as I’m standing in front of the toilet my daughter comes in, pats me on the back a couple times,,,,then makes me pinky promise her she can see it before I flush it #truestory

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

That moment you spray a bees nest from what you think is far enough away, and then they scatter all pissed off, and you run for you life

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

Who has 2 thumbs and won the “last guy on the street to bring his garbage cans in” contest

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

Two sick kids, I need a ceremonial screaming pillow

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

@Brian_Brochetti @MLBastian It’s recorded as a ball

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

I get more exited than I rightfully should when I already know the Snapple fact

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

What’s the best part about today? Seeing what everyone’s moms look like #HappyMothersDay

[robertklemko @RobertKlemko]

The only thing lamer than promising to eat poop if a certain player is picked No. 1 in the draft is not eating the poop when it happens.

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

@SeannyMaK I was very confused when I turned the game on

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

Shocker, there’s an Easter bunny Instagram filter

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

I one more way I can tell kids have changed me, I just got legitimately pissed that the Indians season opener is in Seattle, at 10:10pm, on a Thursday

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

My beautiful daughter took her snack cup full of frosted mini wheats, turned it upside down, and shook it like a salt shaker.....right on top of the dog then looked at me like I was the asshole

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

Here’s a pet peeve I didn’t know I had until just now, people who dump 3/4 a cup of coffe between cars so the next guy gets to step in a coffee puddle #thanksguy

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

Apparently, I’m not eating enough pistachios

[Shawn Klimko @Sklimko]

My mind only seems to work quickly when insults or sarcasm are involved......also when you can slip in a “that’s what she said”