Skulduggery bot

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[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“The Infected I can manage.”
She frowned. “And Vengeous? I mean, you can beat him, right?”
“Well,” Skulduggery said, “I can certainly try. And trying is half the battle.”
“What’s the other half?”
He shrugged. “Hitting him more times than he hits me.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“…At its simplest level, Darquesse is a state of mind.”
“I’m sorry?”
“She’s you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She’s you without your humanity.”
“You’re saying she’s a mood swing?”
He shrugged. “Or maybe you are her mood swing.”
“Don’t even joke about that.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“We could still do with your help,” Skulduggery said to her. “Nonsense,” China responded. “You’ll do fine without me. Besides, the portal opens on a farm. A farm, Skulduggery. Do I look like I have any shoes suitable for a farm?”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“The twenty-third of October it was, when my heart stopped beating. Once I was dead, they stuck my body up on a pike and burned it for all to see. They used me as a warning –they used the bodies of all the leaders they had killed as warning – and, to my utter horror, it worked.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

She eyed the gap uneasily. Another tight space. “Are you sure I’ll be able to fit?”
Skulduggery’s face appeared on the other side. “Of course you will. I did.”
“But you’re a skeleton,” she pointed out.
“Yes, but I’m big-boned. You’ll be fine.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

Lenka grinned at Valkyrie. “I don’t want to alarm you,” she said, “but there’s a skeleton in a hat standing behind you.”
“Don’t worry, he’s supposed to be there,” Valkyrie said with a smile.
“Very pleased to meet you,” Skulduggery said, shaking her hand.

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“You OK out there?”
“I’ve been perched on worse roofs, believe me.”
“My parents have gone to work, you know. You could have used the door.”
“Doors are for people with no imagination.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“What a lovely plan.”
“Thank you.”
“How likely is it to actually work?”
“With our luck? Not very.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

The hole was a narrow gash of an opening, slanting almost at a horizontal angle. Valkyrie was not a fan of tight spaces. “You want us to climb through there?”
“I’ll go first,” he said, “to make sure it’s safe. Hold my hat.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“And what exactly are you?”
She sighed. “Save your disgust, OK? I’ve heard it before. You don’t like me because I have the blood of the Ancients in my veins, and I don’t like you because you’re old and nasty and creepy and you stole Gandalf’s beard.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“I don’t like the way you’re talking to me.”
“I somehow fail to care.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“Why did she call you Janey?”
Valkyrie smiled. “She didn’t. She meant Janey Mac. It’s just something people say.”
“What people?”
“Irish people,” Valkyrie said, pulling out on to the road.
“Why do they say it?”
“I’m not sure. It’s just something they say.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“I’m going to kill you.”
“Stop saying that.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to upset you. Is there anything I can do to take your mind off your impending demise? A joke, perhaps? A witty anecdote?”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“No, which makes it peculiar. Come on. We’ll have to stick to the back streets, but I think I know the way.”
He’d only been here once before, and already he was talking about short cuts. But Valkyrie didn’t argue. If Skulduggery thought he knew something, he generally did.

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

Skulduggery fired again. Valkyrie didn’t bother looking to see if the bullet hit its target. Of course it did.

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“What? We’re flying there, aren’t we?”
“Not with the Redhoods and the Sense-Wardens on high alert. We’ll be walking. It’s safer.”
“Oh,” she said, and took her arm back.
“If you want to hug me, you just have to ask,” he said.
“Shut up.”
“It’s sweet, actually.”
“Shut up.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“How did your top secret sneaky business go?” Valkyrie asked, eager to change the subject.
Skulduggery hesitated. “This is a sensitive subject.”
“We’re all friends here, aren’t we? So where’d you go?”
“Well, I... I broke into the Sanctuary.”
“I’m sorry, you what?”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“I don’t know whether to be disappointed or glad.”
“Pick glad. You’ve got plenty of time to regret the things you haven’t done yet.”
“I’m...not sure what that means.”
“Take it home with you and think about it.”
“I will, thanks.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

He opened a wooden box and slowly reached his gloved hand in.
His revolver gleamed when he withdrew it. “Smith & Wesson,” he said lovingly. “You had it cleaned?”
“Last week,” she said and found herself smiling. “Thought you might want it.”

[Skulduggery bot @skulduggerybott]

“I even have a map. How impressed are you right now?”
There was a moment of silence. “You’re such an unbelievable show- off.”
“I learned it all from you.”