Daisy Raikonnen

Swedish by birth, attitude forged by Scottish girders. Glasgow smooths the edges.

[Dòmhnall Og ☮ 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇺🇦 @Donaldlaboo1]

Pollok FC v Partick Thistle FC 27.0.26 #flickr https://t.co/CC4Trji27U

[Medical Xpress @medical_xpress]

A 13-second-per-eye pupil test predicted consciousness gains 7 days later after severe brain injury, while standard ICU pupil measures did not. https://t.co/cLP23zD5lX

[Salman @SalmanGreen]

Unboxing Diecast Rosso Magma Ferrari Purosangue With Worldwide Limited 20 units only

[Daisy Raikonnen @SkwerrWheels]

@offtheballbbc Ole Gunnar Solskjaer: to continue the club-style management enjoyed by the squad and for box office entertainment: Davie Martindale.

[Pollok FC @pollokfc]

🥪| THISTLE HOSPITALITY

Due to a cancellation we have three hospitality spaces available for tomorrow's match.

Open to home and away fans;

https://t.co/s7ZU7Pt4W8

[Picard Looking @Picardlooking]

New vid - Star Trek but the Borg are Australian

[Pollok FC @pollokfc]

📱| HELPERS NEEDED

We are currently on the lookout for social media volunteers. If you fancy getting started in the world of football comms, supported by people working within the industry then email [email protected] or get in touch via our social media platforms.

[Medical Xpress @medical_xpress]

A 30-minute cooling cap session shifted brain activity right away and was linked to a bigger drop in depression symptoms over a week. @penn_state https://t.co/kdnzFLZgiC

[UtterlyInteresting @UtterlyInterest]

It's been 47 years since the best ever account of an attempted crime (from the Edinburgh Evening News, 18 August 1978)

[Quentin Letts @thequentinletts]

Plaintive note from a Mr Smith of East Preston, Sussex.

[꧁Bobbi꧂ @SaltyBitch_52]

These guys are funny.
Deer Blind Dad Jokes.

[This Is My Glasgow @is_glasgow]

Humour in adversity on display at Hinba, the Hebridean coffee roasters, on Dumbarton Road in Glasgow. Hopefully the loss and damage isn't too bad.

#glasgow #glasgowtoday #partick #glasgowhumour #scottishhumour

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

People who have found themselves in museums

[Paul Rees. ex Rucksack. @HannahIamthest1]

A Demon approaches the Devil and says.
"Dark lord, Two men from Glasgow have been sent here. What should be done with them?"
The Devil says. "Glaswegians? Their kind and are normally very friendly, helpful and honest, so we do not see many such men in my dark domain. Hang them in a cage over the lake of fire for now and I shall check on them later."
But when the Devil flew up to the cage to check on the Scotsmen, he found them happily lounging around with their shirts off.
"What is the meaning of this?" The Devil cried. "You're supposed to be in torment!"
The Glaswegians looked surprised. "Naw." They said. "It's pure quality taps aff weather here man. It's no drab an' dreech like Scotland, you know that way?"
Fuming, the Devil flew to the great thermostat of Hell and cranked it all the way to the top. And the next day, the temperature was so high that even the Demons were sweating, the stones of hell were melting and the flames from the lake of fire were leaping higher than ever before.
So the Devil was surprised when he visited the Scotsmen and found that they had somehow procured plastic lawn furniture and a couple of bottles of Buckfast tonic wine.
Raising a glass to the Devil, one of the Scotsmen said. "Hey big man, If I'd known it was so lovely an warm doon here, I'd've done a whole lot more sinning! Weather's always miserable in the Gorbals. Always freezin', ye know?"
"I see." The Devil replied, smiling though clenched teeth. "Your dismal country has given you a great love of heat. The hotter it is, the happier you are. Well, we'll see about that."
So he flew to the great thermostat of Hell once more, but this time, he turned it all the way down.
The next day, the lake of fire was frozen solid for the first time, sinners were frozen in blocks of ice and Demons huddled in corners for warmth, their teeth chattering.
But when the Devil visited the Scotsmen, he found them jumping for joy, tearfully cheering. "Scotland! SCOTLAND!!!"
The Devil's jaw dropped. "What? Why? How? I burn you and you are happy! I freeze you and you celebrate! What is wrong with you?"
One of Glaswegians turned back and said......
"Is it not obvious Big Man? Hell's frozen over this means Scotland's won the world cup!" 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿⚽️ 🏆 😁😁

[Pollok FC @pollokfc]

For the final time this season...
It's Matchday!

🆚 St Cadoc's
🏟️Newlandsfield
📅Saturday 16th May
🕑2PM
🎟️£10/£6 -Accompanied Under 12s Free

Sponsored by: Club 1908

https://t.co/jAx12t7aFI

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

The twin chimney blowdown at Cockenzie Power Station, Scotland was probably one of the most choreographic implosions

[Miss Ally @MissAlly_01]

A man was in a hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. He mumbles, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
The nurse lifts his gown, holds his penis in one hand & his testicles in the other, takes a close look & says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir."

[Alex & Books 📚 @AlexAndBooks_]

This might be the best writing tip I've ever heard:

[Stu thats all you get🇺🇸🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @Boldyboy1975]

Imagine going for a pint ,then go viral 🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Daisy Raikonnen @SkwerrWheels]

@STVNews I'm intrigued. What's the baby's surname ?