Describeyourself.com

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Researchers are now re-examining the works of historians Tacitus & Flavius Josephus. In ancient Rome, Josephus, aka "Flavius Flav", was known for wearing a huge sundial around his neck and for the popular Gregorian Chant "666 is a joke"

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Damn, now that the peacock alerted me to it, that is a really good-looking power washer.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

On my Christmas list for this year. Buying a seeing eye dog for a certain ex-politician who, after hearing his testimony, could really use the help of a guide dog.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Columbia Sportswear has teamed up with Breakside Brewery to create a beer called "Nature Calls. The beer is infused with bear poop and is said by the company to be delicious.
Next, the brewers plan to harvest porta-potties to create a new brew with a delicious nutty flavor.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Mississippi QB Trinidad Chambliss is suing the NCAA in order to qualify for a sixth year of eligibility. Anything to avoid the possibility of being drafted by the Jets, I suppose. Good luck Trinidad.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

With the upcoming pandemics, here is the best advice I have found:
Stay Indoors
Cover Yourself From Head To Toe
Do Not Eat
Try Not To breath
Stay That Way
You Will Be Safe

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

The Las Vegas Raiders lost their backup QB to injury. Two solutions. Do the Raider thing and give up three first rounders for Shedeur; or, hire the Buddhist monks who blessed the Leicester City team and turn their season around before it even starts (bring on the Buddhists!!).

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

The Portland Trail Blazers were sold to a buyer from North Carolina who promised to keep the team in Portland. Analysts are studying the buyer's media appearance to determine if his lips were moving when he made the statement.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Shelter-in-place issued as officers search for armed carjacking suspects in NE Portland

A carjacking took place in a residential neighborhood in Portland, OR. Portland police are debating whether to continue to look for the suspects or simply arrest them at their next carjacking

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Ex-flight attendant allegedly caught with 101 pounds of synthetic drug in her suitcases at Sri Lanka airport, reports say - CBS News

So, if the article is to be believed, the flight attendant did not notice that her suitcases were suddenly 101lbs heavier?

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Woman allegedly shoves cheesy nachos down wife's pants during assault

A woman shoved cheese and nachos down the pants of her wife during an argument. Or, was it an attempt to whip up a platter of fish n' chips that got out of hand? Hmmm

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Fairfax County McDonald's restricts dine-in to 21+ after incidents of 'student violence'

A Mickey D's in Alexandria, VA is restricting access to anyone under 21 due to excessive violence perpetrated by individuals in this age group. It is their new "Lord of the Fries" policy.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

After last night's game against the Blue jays, the New York Yankees announced that before each game, the team's starting catcher will undergo a refresher course in the Heimlich Maneuver.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

You could barely tell that the bats weren't regular bats. Maybe no one will notice.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Something different about the new Yankees bats. Hmmm.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Things NOT to do in San Marcos.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

https://t.co/m5AIn3rfRM Had a recent break-up and are now having issues processing the split? The Memphis Zoo has the solution! For only $10.00, they will name an elephant poop after your ex and send a video of the elephant in action to that person. Sounds like problem solved.

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

Well, this is the last day of "Dry January". Now, it's on to the second phase to make up for all that dryness---->BENDER TIL DEcEmbEr!!

[Describeyourself.com @skyyeryder]

https://t.co/c7uIQuAJPD
The Las Vegas Raiders fired some of their coaches today due to the Raiders nasty habit of underachieving so far this season.
Personally, I think the problems with the Raiders start with owner Mark Davis' lucky haircut.