Sam's Slams

Welcome to slammin' Sam's

"In a time when we wall ourselves off from the ideas of others, only the absurd and the extreme can break through"
-Dr. Joel

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

This is where I post my best and worst thoughts. It's your job to figure out which is which

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

@WeirdMedieval I had an experience in the Vatican galleries where I tried to look out a window that was near an elevator door and two docents who only came up to my shoulder came running over to tell me that I couldn't ride the elevator (they only allowed wheelchairs and strollers on it)

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

@WeirdMedieval European security guards leave no doubt that they are NOT there to serve the guests; they are there to serve the exhibits. Death is too merciful a punishment for them.

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

I don't know why they hate it so much; It looks like a perfectly nice village to me

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

@serpentM0und It's like I always say: you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

@serpentM0und The Blueprint guy was actually doing this for a while. He would have a glass of wine with his breakfast

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

Madame Tussaud's wax museum has been around for so long that it was visited by Dostoevsky (he hated it)

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

*First day as a prison guard*
"You guys act like you don't even want to be here. You know what? If you're going to have that kind of attitude, don't even bother showing up tomorrow!"

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

It's such a twist of fate the city of Bologna invented the concept of the university, but the only thing they are remembered for is their mystery meat sausage

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

There's something about perfume that's so....fragrant

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

If this was named these days, it would probably be called scrolling-on-phone!

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

@Hey54636 Stolen from here: https://t.co/AJXAhRs1iC

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

The Devil Wears Products

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that nothing that's hard is easy

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

Some people always look so put-together. Me, I always look taken-apart!

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

I thought the Ming vase that I bought was high-quality, but it turns out to have been made in China!

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

Work smarder, not harter

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

How it felt meeting your parent's friends as a kid

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

Traveling is crazy because it's like, you used to be in one place, but then you end up in a different place

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

I briefly held the world record for "most recently-made sandwich"

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

I strained my credulity pretty badly in a debate yesterday. The doctor says it'll be at least six weeks until I can even argue again

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

They call it that because when you see the record you say "My goodness!!"

[Sam's Slams @slams_s]

The Goodness Book of World Records