obi

I’m friends with Garrett Wilson in real life and I think that’s my only claim to fame

[obi @slapperofhams]

half of love is just lo

which is how i’m feeling

[obi @slapperofhams]

don’t let me get my hands on some grenades

[obi @slapperofhams]

are there edible orbeez

[obi @slapperofhams]

i’m not a gorilla but I can beat off 100 men

[obi @slapperofhams]

Normalize putting chess boards in bars

[obi @slapperofhams]

with double ended dildos existing, that implies there are double ended fleshlights

[obi @slapperofhams]

i completely forgot I had this account after college lol

[obi @slapperofhams]

i’m lying

[obi @slapperofhams]

my tiktok still working if any baddies want to pull up

[obi @slapperofhams]

about to eat lasagna. feeling like garfield

[obi @slapperofhams]

I feel as if I have the stamina to consume a small person probably (5ft or under)

[obi @slapperofhams]

no new president, america needs to be a single for a while and focus on herself

[obi @slapperofhams]

i have spaghetti in my pocket. I save it as a snack for later

[obi @slapperofhams]

Yeah pickle, I know the dill

[obi @slapperofhams]

life is a scooter and I am an ankle

[obi @slapperofhams]

go panthers

[obi @slapperofhams]

just heard like 3 dudes confess to felonies on xbox live

[obi @slapperofhams]

I keep a jar of apple sauce in my room I drink it when i’m scared

[obi @slapperofhams]

New Rule: If I order standing up, I’m not tipping

[obi @slapperofhams]

be in awe of my tism

[obi @slapperofhams]

if texas secedes from the U.S. i’m staying here forever. I don’t give a boot scoot n boogie about the rest of the U.S. after that