Smeeny

Bad Guy Princess. - will steal your jokes and pass them off as mine. also not great at secrets

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

Today I had a panic attack playing out the possibility that heaven was real and that I'd have to be awake forever. Please just let me have my dirt nap. So quiet, so peaceful.

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

I really hated when every article and tweet was about how he was going to win but I’m also filled with dread now that every single thing I see says that she’s going to win! I contain multitudes!

[Machine Pun Kelly 🇺🇦 @KellyScaletta]

The electoral college was not put in the Constitution to make sure candidates campaigned in small states. That's a lie you were taught in school. It doesn't even make sense.

The electoral college was put in the Constitution to protect slavery.

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

@tiffany_grayson

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

@tiffany_grayson What what?! Fashion what?! No thank you

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

@Suburbalicious No advice but commiseration. Last year a house somewhere in the neighborhood was chirping for what feels like forever! I even did drive around to try to find it but sound is so weird and bounces all over the place. Hopefully someone nearer reports it!

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

I watched this 100 times 😂😂😂🔥🔥

https://t.co/g8tmW0rpDg

[Tiffany Grayson @tiffany_grayson]

Obama is nailing this speech this speech I'm sure Diet Coke cans are flyingggg around Mar a Lago.

[Nina Parker @theninaparker]

Michelle came to the DNC like:

[Mike (not a) Rothschild @rothschildmd]

"In four years, you won't have to vote again."

There's nothing sly or subtle about this. He's just telling us the plan. If he wins, he and his inner circle will do whatever it takes to make him or his chosen successor president for life. All we have to do is believe him.

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

@tiffany_grayson Omggg

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

@tiffany_grayson Wow I expect this from a lot of people but you?!

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

@tiffany_grayson World wars were started after this im positive

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

@tiffany_grayson Two types of people. Big fancy party or "I'm too cool to party I'm on my couch"

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

@tiffany_grayson Giiiiiirl. 1000% approved

[John Fugelsang @JohnFugelsang]

A clip from Jesse Watters' new Christmas Album "Fuck You Jesus, and Everything You Stand For."

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

@tiffany_grayson 😭😭😭

[Greensboro Grasshoppers @GSOHoppers]

Back in November, The Greensboro Grasshoppers Staff had the privilege of volunteering for the Bikes for Kids campaign. This morning, we stopped by Bluford Elementary School to visit the Third Graders and watch them receive a brand-new bike.

[Smeeny @slaptastrophe]

@tiffany_grayson 😂 😂 😂

[trash jones @jzux]

i cannot stop spending money. I am the primary breadloser of my household