Lily Slay

(she/her) cosmetologista, vocals/guitar @ The Royal Tinfoil

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

@Antiproton_com @JamesLinzel Thanks for letting me infodump!

This issue is a passion of mine. It's stolen so many hours of makeup application time from me and caused me to look like a melting sea witch in about 20% of my photos.

I hope some of these ideas inspire your own creative solutions! Good luck!

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

@Antiproton_com @JamesLinzel Playing with liquid liners is great, too. There are fewer particles to get in our eyes/cause irritation to begin with, unlike powdery shadows.

As a last resort, I habitually stash tissues/cotton rounds/(clean) handkerchiefs everywhere to dab at my eyes- bags, bra, car, etc.

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

@mrice97 Horrible beer/pour aside, this is ultimately a testament to how effectively music can manipulate our emotions. The sad tinkling lo-fi score is definitely adding to the listlessness/emptiness. Try it with an upbeat ELO ditty and it's, well, not perfect, but far cheerier.

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

@Cooperstreaming I can never forget the story of the woman who refused to cook kraft macaroni and cheese for her guy, and he was so passive aggressive he poured the cheese powder into the boiling water and then came to her with a messy ass soup like, "look what you did to me."

[💕 Doll Face✨ @smoke_nd_pearlz]

I AM IN FCKING TEARS 😭

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

@notcatsilver @josiebroccoli This is so real! I get this plus horrible nightmares right before??? I see you, PCOS Crewtie (crew + cutie). ❤️❤️❤️

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

@MVMetatron @itssamanthaaaa_ It’s textural. It’s science. Cheese emulsifies when beaten into raw eggs giving you a creamier scramble, but sometimes you like an ooey gooey layer on top, too. I like to beat in half a slice of American for the sodium citrate mouth-feel, but melt a more flavorful cheese on top.

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

Stripes on Stripes. This is a UPF *SHIRT* and I'm obsessed.

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

@happyerinb This is why all the Disney princesses sang while performing menial labor!

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

Why graphic design is so important: a story in two parts

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

Obnoxious Recurring Problem:

People keep asking what color my hair *would* be “if [I] weren’t bald”

Increasingly Appealing Solution:

carrying around ziplock bags of my pubes to throw at them

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

This has been great for my imposter syndrome. If you ever doubt yourself, remember that a team of professional writers and one of the most respected comics in history thought that mocking a Black woman’s illness by referencing a 25 yo movie was a solid, relevant, and clever joke.

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

I forgot to mute the TikTok I was watching when I answered a very important phone call so I had to just grimace through it and try to focus while the same two lines of Funkytown played on repeat in the same ear, which, coincidentally, is a lot like having ADHD in general.

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

But, soft! what light through yonder box seats breaks?

It is the town, and Martha is the flavor

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

New therapist in 1st session: Wow, ok, can we just take a min to sit with that? You just listed off some intense traumas all in a row.

Me, tapping imaginary wristwatch: Bitch, buckle up! We've got under an hour and I'm only in the prologue.

Knew I shoulda made that Power Point.

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

@codyhyooz Omfg I forgot about that dude 😂😂😂

[Lily Slay @slay_thebeast]

She’s a hero

[🛸🔭🧑‍🚀 Pluto @Brazo4444]

I woulda dead ass sued this hoe. See you on judge Mathis bitch