sniffles

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

Can a guy get a little fucken poop around here?

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

How bout a little less poop and a little more wipin’

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

Yeah just bought these boots from Aldis

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

You know tiny desk concerts… I’m just like why don’t they get a bigger desk

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

You buttheads just made a big mistake

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

One time in highschool they thought I was high and they took me into the office and said “breathe in this cup”

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

I ain’t a snitch but I’ll tell

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

I asked my mom if we had ranch and she said “Ranch? What do you think I’m a fucking billionaire?”

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

I hate when I see a feather on the ground and it turns out to be a very convincing leaf

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

*my homie so obviously not okay
“Is he okay?”
“Nah he’s just tweakin on the floor”

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

Like if I pooped right now it would just be a miserable wet nightmare

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

Modelo with gum in my mouth

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

No that was the time I broke my pinky at church

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

Sasquatch killed my cousin

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

I’m fucking starving and I want liquor

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

Just a grown man with a pet hermit crab

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

You ever need tips on selective hearing I’ll invite my mom over. Fucking professional.

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

You tryna trade burps later?

[sniffles @sle3pybby]

I was sitting on my phone and it vibrated my taint and it scared me