Rian Lewis Heath

Slacker. Smart ass. Old married lady. A bit nerdy, totally dorky. Unqualified cooking instructor

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

@eleanorr3107 First off celebrity

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

@leenylana Yes!! That pissed me off so much! I’m a happily married, happily childless middle-aged woman and that made my blood boil. And yeah, the end of HIMYM was also a disappointment.

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

I placed a curbside grocery order last night at 130 after a few glasses of wine. After getting it home this evening and sorting through it I’m like a kid on Christmas morning: “soy sauce? Yeah! I need that!” “Ooohh! Chocolate syrup!” “Garlic powder? Yasss” “OMG dishwasher pods!”

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

@noirbettie Yep

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

So my British husband, who lived in LA for seven years and has lived in Texas for almost a year now, just referred to tortillas as “those little flat pancakes we get at Mexican restaurants”. 🙄

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

@skippity_doo I’m so sorry. She was lucky to have you. ♥️

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

Two and a half weeks ago our sweet Jasper suffered a catastrophic accident and we had to put him down.
He was such a perfect little weirdo and the best part of our little family. It sucks so much coming home to our empty, boring, dog-less house.

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

Five dog beds in this house and he would curl up in the cat bed because it was closest to my spot on the couch.

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

@skippity_doo Oh, I hope she’ll be ok.

[ACLU @ACLU]

YOUR REASON FOR SEEKING AN ABORTION IS THE RIGHT REASON.

Whatever the reason is.

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

Paul was still asleep this morning when I left and he had knocked one of his pillows off the bed. Someone was very happy about that!

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

@gin_n_ginger @louisa_harland We just watched the finale. Such a great end to an awesome show! The whole ep was fantastic, from Orla’s dance to Grandad and the little one skipping out of the polling station. Very well done.

[Jardani @jardani_w]

@RonFilipkowski At today’s meeting on feline healthcare…

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

Oh, come on!

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

Five dogs beds in this house and this ding dong sleeps in the cat bed

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Moko. Her mom was part fox and her dad was actually a powdered donut. An extremely rare mix. 13/10

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

@skippity_doo Oh no! I hope it’s super mild and you get to watch loads of tv and read lots of books.

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

When Paul comes home from the movies he lets Jasper thoroughly sniff his butt so he can enjoy the hundred other butts that have sat in that theater seat. Now that’s just top-notch dog parenting.

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

5/5 I guess it was just too much for that little spider. When I realized that this morning I got surprisingly emotional. I usually tell my husband to kill spiders we find in the house (he won’t).

But this morning I sat in my car and cried for my sweet departed spider friend.

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

1/? A spider has lived in my driver’s side view mirror since September. Every morning I would find a new web and I would feel so bad that once I started driving, that web would be destroyed. But she didn’t seem to mind. She moved across the country with us in October.…

[Rian Lewis Heath @sleepy_cookie]

4/? She became such a part of my life that it took a week or so to realize that I hadn’t seen a fresh web. There are remnants of web on the mirror housing. I think she must have perished in the freeze we had last week. Below freezing temps for three nights in a row. …