being suicidal doesn't mean that I'm going to kill myself. Being suicidal is having this inexplainable ache while you're living. It's waiting for your life to end, and wishing that you didn't have to carry on. Having this ache, and incapability to feel happy living, doesn't mean that | am going to kill myself; it just means that I wouldn't mind dying.
Memory loss from depression and trauma is so underrated. Like, I did not forget on purpose, but my brain just decided to hit delete on random conversations, days, and sometimes an entire phase of my life.
People talk about sadness, crying, and anxiety, but no one really talks about how your memory just starts glitching. You re-read chats like, "Did I really say that?" You forget things you should remember, and it's not even in a funny, "Oh, I'm grateful I don't remember," way. It's more like, "Why do I feel like my brain is constantly buffering?"
And the worst part is, you start questioning yourself, like, "Am I overreacting? Did it actually happen? Was it even that bad?" Because when your memory goes away, your sense of reality kind of goes with it.
But yeah, sure. Let's keep pretending healing is all about drinking water, journaling, and going for a walk..
Baiknya my baby tonight. Dia merengek, then i cakap dkt dia, "mama nak solat, nanti mama siap solat mama peluk okay"
And he was behaving so well. Dah nak habis tu baru dgr suara dia merengek. I love you baby!
Teruk ek budak2 skrg. Sampai bekas tentera yg kena jadi warden asrama. Kuat nawww membuli. Tapi tak pelik la sbb mak bapak skrg pun sibuk dunia sampai lupa nak didik anak jadi manusia yg baik