Danielle

Lifes short, talk fast

[Danielle @slimpinay]

First. Don’t let twitter fool you with their translations of my tweets cause it’s not accurate. Patawad.

[Danielle @slimpinay]

If Patrick does a gospel album everything will be right and I will be a better person

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Hey

[Danielle @slimpinay]

My morena nieces said I was tan enough tho soooo

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Nope. Apparently I sent me naked asking if I was tan enough to Bella annnnnnd Danica.

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Did I send a nude Snapchat to @lindsey_staley this morning? No. Apparently I sent it to Bella.

[Danielle @slimpinay]

And that’s the story of how I bought 8 cookies in one day.
Any guesses what day I am in my cycle🥹

[Danielle @slimpinay]

And I was going to tell Mike Elle but then remembered he was with me when I bought 6 cookies this morning and he would tease me

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Cause I had a cookie this morning. And then I ate half a cookie when I got to the food truck (leftover from yesterday’s cookie purchase) and then went into the coffee shop for an afternoon cookie, couldn’t decide, bought 2.

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Ok but the actual tweet is how embarrassing it is that I just bought 2 cookies, forgetting that I bought 6 cookies this morning

[Danielle @slimpinay]

500 miles and 360 are the most romantic songs and I know Mike Elle and I will fight about it when it comes time but idc

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Just ordered new glasses. Hide your weebs.

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Anyways, Noah obviously wrote that for her for me.

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Oh to be Megan, and have a song about best friends from a tiny town, bullshitting about the world ending but enjoying the tiny specks we are in the universe and being lucky enough to have each other and it be named after ME.

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Patawad sayo. Pero, putang Ina mo.

[Danielle @slimpinay]

I’m hot and divinely protected. I get why you’re obsessed.

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Cause tell your girlfriend to stop stalking my instagram

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Oh I’m gonna talk shit

[Danielle @slimpinay]

Tell your dad to quit stalking my instagram. Stalk my Facebook like an adult.

[Danielle @slimpinay]

You’ve got the nerve but not the follow through