Puig’s Bat

slow blows scream old money

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

My dad used to make me walk home from practice before it ended if he deemed I didn’t want to be there

Other parents would offer a ride home, he’d stop the ongoing practice and tell them I don’t deserve it

Started riding my bike to practice while he drove just incase

I miss it

[MLB @MLB]

Share a piece of baseball lore about yourself!

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

Just chopped my lettuce, heard it was giving people diarrhea

[Jed Hoyer @JedHoyer_]

spanking it

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

These wildfires ain’t shit compared to the gas station boof that puts me to bed every night #RunTheBall

[Addicus Sappington @AddicusSapp]

Where to find condoms that aren’t so baggy google search

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

An extra hour of day drinking before having to go to bed in order to work the next day

[SoothingDave @SoothingDave]

Can a permanent daylight time supporter explain what after-work outdoor activities I will enjoy with the extra hour in January when it’s 20 degrees outside?

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

Kill yourself :)

[Connor Bailey @cbailsvcu]

@aliwhitesox Death. Taxes. White Sox and Brewers fans attending a baseball game or event at a 112 year old stadium and not spending 3 minutes to see if their seat is obstructed and then complaining about their view on social media.

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

Tell me you don’t work without telling me you don’t work

[AJ @AJTrueSon]

Why are people angry that the sun won't rise in the winter (for some) now until 9am? WTF are you doing super early in the morning in January that requires sun that early?

Just bitching for the sake of bitching

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

Easily impressed people are simultaneously the worst and the best

[JOE @LeBron_Eames]

I can’t stop thinking about the lady who, 5 minutes into John Mulaney’s sold out show at wrigley fucking field, leaned over to me and said “this guy is funny!”

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

Secretariat to 1970s horse racing is Genghis Khan to the 1200s #FarmSystem

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

@MurrayHillGuy1 Are you accusing skenes of being gay, retarded, or both?

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

Get hit by a bus pal. Fuck.

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

My 17yo coworker claims to love baseball.

Me: Jordan fucking walker huh??

Him: is that a golfer?

[Nugs @Nugjokes]

Lowkey would not know if I had the Diarrhea parasite or not

[Certified Kaori Lover (Cekal) 🐶🥋 @HoomanBlack]

I feel like there should be a friendly match between male and female team just to see the difference in level

[Spencer Porkelson @Spencer_Pork20]

Future’s Album sounds like he has child support due soon #FuckDemKids

[Robert J. O'Neill @mchooyah]

I smoked your G.O.A.T while you were fucking your goat.

[Puig’s Bat @slobberstick66]

Old money gets a white boy going crazy