parker

Harvey Dent you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. they’ll throw acid on you #letsgopens #thunderup

[parker @slopburger]

sober people need to be banned from writing weed fics #WeCanTell

[a @kirkspend]

him: u better not be non binary alt microtrend speed when i pull up
me:

[NHL Follow Tracker @NHLFollowTrack]

👀 Will Smith followed 1 new account on Instagram:

✅ austonmatthews — AM
🔗 https://t.co/hpdh4nwQ3I

#NHL #TheFutureIsTeal

[parker @slopburger]

id be so pissed if i was the brother that came out looking like jimbo from boss baby

[Rixlerr @rixlerr]

Brady Tkachuk says Canadian fans hate him so much that they boo him every time he touches the puck, ranking Toronto as the most hostile arena in the league.

"Toronto was the loudest boo because it was after a scrum, and they had me on the Jumbotron, and everybody was booing me"

"And I was so close to doing something outrageous... I was going to do something outrageous, but I was like, 'Nah, I don't want to put anybody in a bad spot'".

"Second, I'm going to go with Edmonton... they were giving it to me pretty good, and I got a penalty in overtime".

"Third was Calgary. Just every time I touched the puck, they were giving it to me".

"I love getting booed. I think it's so funny, it's great. It means you're doing something right".

[parker @slopburger]

@mc71esbian your tuition better be $1 oh my god

[Joey🏒 @190joey_joey]

Try 10 days without Makar Truther

[parker @slopburger]

@mc71esbian no this is good

[nude gingrich @JarJarFan69]

They should let Rose the Glitter-Breathing Dragon k*** Enes Kanter on live television

[parker @slopburger]

macklin celebrini known for regularly skipping practice… right…

[doc 🇵🇸🇵🇸 @sammyersson]

Its not even that he is too young it is that he is too selfish of a player still to be the guy setting the tone in the room. If you’re frequently ignoring coaches and regularly ducking practices then you shouldnt be the one setting the work ethic of the room.

[parker @slopburger]

just realized the only beatles song i can name off the top of my head is I am the walrus

[keke | new era @regendapragent1]

mack is too young and he needs to enjoy his youth. his mental, physical and social development will be at risk. he should be hanging out with friends, attending prom, going to chucky cheese where a kid can be a kid. this is too much for him. he still sleeps with a night light

[ei🪸 @mc71esbian]

coming clean. i was the person who stole the cup. my name is sophie cunningham and i “play” for the indiana fever

[parker @slopburger]

@briedidntask glad you can appreciate my warso tweaker accusations

[parker @slopburger]

and i want mandatory drug tests for warso this season

[Nati + Geo Media @NatigeoMedia]

Aaron Judge and Juan Soto are reportedly dating.

[parker @slopburger]

jaxon dart looks like if vecna had suspicious whereabouts on january 6th #FreeDrakeMaye

[Drake Maye Lover @drakemayeloverr]

What is this 😭😭😭

[J 🪉 @radeoalien]

stephon castle look bisexual

[parker @slopburger]

@gardenstparker i was crying actually

[parker @slopburger]

i dont like when other parkers like my tweets I should be the only one

[parker @slopburger]

@mc71esbian i love fizz nobody understands

[parker @slopburger]

how it feels lately