jaime stewart

I want to cut down all the trees to print out email and to fold paper birds when the real ones go extinct.

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@guarnaschelli @FoodNetwork Eggs milk cheese bread butter

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@MrPeanut #CheezBallsContest I’d like to sprinkle your cheesy powder all over mozzarella and stuff jalapeños with them, then deep fry that with panko seasoned with more of your cheesy powder

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@MrPeanut I’d coat prime rib with it, then batter and fry it, then coat the outside with more when it’s fresh from the fryer #CheezBallsContest

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

#Aerlingus @AerLingus are hour long hold times normal to make a reservation? How do you stay in business? It's gov't subsidies, isn't it?

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@AmericanAir #AmericanAirlines system down and they won't switch to manual procedures like any other airline, causing delays for days

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@AmericanAir how long is your system going to be down? Can you use manual boarding procedures?

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

When the only consistent feature among all your disappointing relationships is you

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@Apey ok I'm sold come over

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

thank you @united for canceling my flight for "weather" so I could fly the same route same time on @americanair

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

half hour line at post office is 3 ppl long #usps

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@gzchef Buddhas hand citron: all zest all day

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@migrod sounds like a porno mix tape

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@MadelineBecker brb gonna die young and save myself

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@migrod maybe it's a form-based algorythm. in certain light, fire hydrants are less red and more brown. it could be a sunburnt dick.

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

You know you're in the middle of the hood when you find the clit. #truestory

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@TheMikeLawrence it helps if you order more than one so that you feel like somebody else is coming

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@DougBenson what's the best way? "I'm giving up on purple kush and need to find someone to leave my stash to. hey, do you know anyone?"

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@Caradelevingne @johngreen @natandalex @jakeschreier I was expecting boobs being pushed up

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@jermaineFOWLER it means you love yourself, like those times in the bathroom at work

[jaime stewart @slutbuttons]

@migrod it can't tell the difference between that and a dude on his back with an erect penis up close