Chungus Khan

like a solid gold dumpster but on fire

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

I think they made a voicemail transcription mode for me but I’m not sure

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

@mothboy2 @samuel_walber If you ever decide you WANT to sell them, there are always ways to circumvent anxiety. I say as someone usually anxious AF. Having said that, they’re your cards, and if you want to be buried with all of them, our only opinion should be how to best fit them in the coffin.

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

If there’s ever an apocalypse where paracord bracelets and keychains and similar doohickeys become valuable, my SO will fucking run Bartertown.

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

Hella sirens off 150th and Dodge. We usually don’t hear the sirens if they stay on Dodge, and that was a LOT of vehicles for a fender bender. Hopefully not a terrible morning for those responders or those they’re helping. #omaha

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

#omaha storm/emergency sirens going off is just a little bit freaky, given how 2022 has been so far. I’m just glad they work and the speakers haven’t been sold off to fund a trolley or whatever.

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

@kkimmyshimmy @BlackMoonMerc

[Kim's Krystals Shop 🦈 @kimskrystalshop]

🫀 19K GIVEAWAY 🫀

one person will this super flashy labradorite anatomical heart carving

how to enter:
RT this post & follow me
tag at least one friend below

ends 2/12

I love you guys so much thank you for 19k followers I can't believe it omg 🥺

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

@jamieleecurtis Yes, all poop-picking-up is a performance piece with my extremely, uhm. Aware. Extremely aware neighbors.

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

Seems about right.

[Becks @BecksWelker]

NO CHEATING: Your last saved celeb pic is your therapist. They aren't taking new clients until the fall and your co-pay is $100/visit

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

Hi friends I figured out how to switch between my Etsy store account and this account, who's ready for some out of touch millennial mom humor?

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

@Goodtweet_man ❤️

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

@ellle_em JFC, I'm sorry. Animal rescue is rough and heart-wrenching without a rando coming up and going “HEY HAVE YOU CONSIDERED RESCUING THEM WHILE YOU RESCUE THEM”

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

@d0rkph0enix I know where my tax return is going

[Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett]

if a ham can spiral so can i

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

This is my new favorite thing. Those are some practiced, experienced chops and snorts. Man knows what he's doing.

[Tom @ThePokeAttic @atticbreaks]

I’ve decided I’m out of collecting Pokémon. I can’t really afford to keep up with it. So as a goodbye I’m giving away all of my sealed collection! All you need to do is retweet, like & follow! Good luck!! 🤡 🤡 🤡

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

@d0rkph0enix That is clearly a forcep to help deliver baby cars.

[metaphor man @shitbiscuit]

When the fun side of the family arrives

[Violet Blue® @violetblue]

BILF (Book I'd Like to Finish)

[Chungus Khan @slutsmackenzie]

@PaulasRick Clearly she napped in a weird position on the way and her arms fell asleep and they had limited set time so someone else is behind her with their arms jammed in the shirt