small enuff

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The job market so bad rn I just applied to be a martyr on indeed

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White people be watching Big Bang Theory

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My boyfriends hips are like Medusa, when I see them I go rock hard

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@nypost I think if he would’ve done another one they would’ve canceled each other out and he’d be chilling

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Sabrina Carpenter implies the existence of Sabrina Flooring Installer

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My BDSM kink is flaring up again, you know it is that time of year

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Lockjaw just set in, can’t be doing all these double shifts at the pussy eating factory

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Spicy California roll, mmmmm

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I’m not gay, I just have a big dumb dick fetish

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The weed got me doing a flawless Adam Sandler impression

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Call me dick van dyke the way I got this strap on

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Just hit the pen before my 16 year old cousin beats my ass at golf

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Cracker like me can turn a birdie into a bogey

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My pronouns are oh captain/my captain

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Things I’m doing: not good

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Megan the stallion makes me think things I’m ashamed of

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Alicia keys is the only one who can save me

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I do whatever I want as long as the general public thinks it’s smart and cool

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Pussy so good it had me yelling “great Scott”

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No farmers wraps after 4?!? Didn’t know Hitler was a majority share holder of Tim Hortons now