SmartassChef

Beverage enthusiast, raconteur, chef. Culinarily promiscuous. Come for the food. Stay for the snark and smartassery.

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

Going through old photos and found some wedding pictures.

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

Restaurants, if you claim something you serve is "award-winning" , please list the award. I'm highly skeptical that there is an onion ring contest floating around somewhere.

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

When butter was demonised, Unilever sold margarine.

When tallow was demonised, Procter and Gamble sold Crisco.

When eggs were demonised, Kellogg's sold cereal.

When red meat was demonised, Cargill sold soy.

When raw milk was demonised, Nestle sold infant formula.

When leather was demonised, BASF sold PVC.

When wool was demonised, ExxonMobil sold polyester feedstock.

When animal fat was demonised, the seed-oil industry grew from a niche product to the most consumed food ingredient on earth.

Every demonisation of an animal product made a specific group of shareholders very rich.

Every one of those products had been eaten by humans for thousands of years without incident.

The science changed the moment a substitute existed to sell.

Follow the money. The advice will start to make a lot more sense.

[Piece @Piecezilla]

Applebee's should microwave the food right at your table like a Benihana.

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

How does one go from "Space Cowboy" to "The gangster of love" to "Maurice" all in one song?

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

@VerizonNews

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

@elonmusk @grok What is the population of Oregon and what percentage of the voting population is this?

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

@VerizonNews Me waiting all damn days for @Verizon to get their heads out of their collective asses...

[EmoG @gmanwashere927]

“Come see my junk” is not a good garage sale invitation.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Some jerk called me ignorant and indifferent. I don't know what that means, but I guess it doesn't matter.

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

@LAStatePolice The deadly Altima strikes again.

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

@LeadingReport Sounds exactly like what a pedo would say

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

@vixenpiperxx Tell it to mooooooove

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

@rustygunters Every sack needs some sunshine from time to time 🤣

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

*holding gun to head, about to pull trigger*

*reads your inspirational tweet*

*pulls trigger anyway*

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those "eat right and exercise" scams.

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

*puts on ski mask*

*rappells off roof and into your bedroom window*

*gently wakes you up*

"Hi, you didn't respond to my text."

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

For only $250 and a bottle of mid grade bourbon I'll come to your house for dinner and pretend to like the food.

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

@LeadingReport Don't let the doorknob hit you in the arse on the way out!

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

@thxdao @bee__computer They support over 40 languages. They just don't support android phones.

[SmartassChef @SmartassChef]

@bee__computer All you need to stop @bee__computer is an Android phone apparently.