Ashley Lynn

hang in there, it gets worse

[Governor Josh Shapiro @GovernorShapiro]

LEBRON IS COMING TO PHILLY.

By the power vested in me as the Governor of the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and a die-hard Sixers fan... I hereby proclaim today to be LEBRON JAMES DAY.

Welcome to the City of Brotherly Love, @KingJames.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Happy LeBron James day!!!

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Also my pedicure chipped already. I got it today.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Planning a wedding is hard. I’m making cute bridesmaid proposal boxes, and I need advice on them… and the only people whose opinions I want are the ones I can’t ask because they’re for them. 😩

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Philly. Doesn’t. Need. More. Coffee. And. Ice cream. Shops.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

I tip like I got money

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

As a dog mom I would just like to say… please shut the fuck up dog moms; it is not the same. Dog dad, sure… we can revisit in a month. But today is not about us.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Hey @Uber… you force me to rate your drivers. So explain why 4/5 is bad? Can’t a driver be good, but not great?

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Resist the urge. Don’t buy the Bog bag, my millennial brethren.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

The good news is my phone screen is shattered. So it’s like the Pens 2009 playoff season.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

I usually don’t shit talk during playoffs, but screw it. Pens in 5.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

My local target disrupts the impulse of buying from the low price area because they placed it right next to the shitters.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

We are in the vodka and Gatorade in a can chapter, everyone. Buckle up.

[Pittsburgh Penguins @penguins]

They wrote us off. We flipped the script.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

What the f is with these dumplings?

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Im so sorry but you’re getting mad about robot delivery taking a human’s job but then the human doesn’t complete your delivery because you “didn’t tip enough.” Pick a struggle.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Why are all the women in my age group either making sour dough or running marathons?

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Paul Skenes gets destroyed. Sidney Crosby is out. 😢 help

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Please. Stop. Opening. Coffee shops. In. Center City.

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

@EJNation915 Like Miss Trunchbull

[Ashley Lynn @smashjayy]

Sometimes I wonder if I’m someone’s gym crush. And then I remember how I dress for the gym and I’m okay that I’m not.