Ashley

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

@brattyjones OHHHHH OKAY KAMEN- don’t have anything nice to say so you’re gonna hurt a donut wantin’ girl. love that for you. #kamenismean

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

@brattyjones tell him “fuck off where’s my donut”

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

@fkakicksyahh i think i’m late to the party

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

how long do you think it’ll take me to delete my 26,991 emails?

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

why THE FUCK are my upstairs neighbors screaming papa roach at 3 in the fucking morning.... 😡

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

day 6 apparently? feels more like day 35. whatever tf day it is here i am listening to 90s country. is anyone surprised? i feel like i deserve such a better fanbase 😑

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

@bags_alyssa this IS A JOKE?

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

5 hours into my official quarantine and i’m fucking hammered. off boxed wine. alone in my room. if this is how i die i honestly never expected more.

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

my eye has been twitching for the last 4 days. i can only assume this means i’m extremely unwell & possibly on the verge of a mental breakdown.

[Gail Walden @GailWalden6]

I am no longer allowed inside the cat shelter

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

@BeefedUpStud @khalifaalboinen

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

hello it’s me. it’s been a while since i’ve gotten drunk alone but here we are again.. i’m trying to think of what i can tell you guys that’s worthy of your time but suddenly i’m overcome with such pressure to entertain that my mind is blank! 😭

[Keefler @Keefler_Elf]

this girl at work is freaking out bc right before she came in her boyfriend revealed that he got her name tattooed across his chest. apparently they haven’t been dating very long either. idk how to tell her that i’ve been pretty down lately and this is helping a lot

[lil arab @sweatyhairy]

does anyone have a recommendation? just in general

[Ashley @smashpotatoes11]

@kicksyahh 😂😂😂

[Matt. @MattTheBrand]

me: i am happy and content being single

me after half a glass of $7 red wine: it has been a fortnight since i've known affection my heart grows withered and cold i-