One thing I’m learning as a sex therapist in training is that your BDSM personality will expose your real relationship needs.
Being a brat, a sub, a rope bunny, prey, a switch, a masochist it’s not “just kinky.” It’s your attachment style with the lights dimmed.
Brats want someone who can match them.
Subs need consistent leadership, not control.
Rope bunnies crave safety and structure.
Prey needs clear pursuit.
Switches need flexibility.
Masochists want intensity and presence. 1/2
dissapearing on your partner after conflict when they need clarity or closeness is not giving yourself space. it is emotional abuse. the anxiety and abandonment wounds it creates are very real
Nothing to put between two bodies nothing to project the performance of eroticism onto. just desire and the machinations of the body which are propelled by desire. no wonder everyone's freaked out. women wanting to eat up other women ooh SO FREAKY
No amount of chemistry can ever make up for the anxiety that comes from being with someone who’s emotionally inconsistent, unkind, or misaligned with your core values.
The ability to disconnect from a person silently & just know within yourself that it’ll never be that again, is one of those evolved places of self respect you’ll ever get to. Certain conversations are performances of accountability that will never produce accountability.
Ppl will fuck up so bad with you that they ain’t got a choice but to act like they hate you to other mfs😭 They even go as far as creating a delusion in their heads to convince themselves you did something wrong to them bc they know they was weird asl & they just hate to admit it