Please spend about 7 minutes to listen to this video.
It's the most sensible take that I have heard or read on the trending matter.
For mature minds only.
Very wise take.
God ordained marriage, yes.
But not everyone will or should get married.
What fuels marriage is money.
And it's largely hinged on the man.
If the man that you are dating right now is not showing you any true potential to provide financially in marriage, please do not get married to him.
As a woman, you'd suffer in that marriage if you get married to a lazy man.
Or if you get married to a man that is just struggling to get by.
And you won't be able to function properly as either a mother or a wife.
The only way that you'd be able to function properly, is if your husband takes away the burden of provision from you.
Your heart would be heavy if you heard the cries of hunger from your children.
And your husband would be there, doing nothing about it.
The reason I am saying this is because a lot of wives and mothers are living in regret. They constantly call for financial help from family and friends so that they can feed their children.
But they have husbands.
Yesterday, I posted a video of a man and his wife publicly embarrassing themselves.
The wife was screaming that she pays the school fees, she feeds the kids, she does this and that, and her husband was shamelessly standing there, replying to her.
If you watched the video to the end, you would have heard the man wishing that his wife would die before him.
That is why I keep telling you women about the dangers of enabling a man, or getting married to a man who hasn't proven to you that he's willing or capable of stepping into that role as a father and husband.
He resents his wife, but he's eating her food.
He takes his wife's money, but he wishes her dead.
His wife is paying the school fees for the kids, but he's angry and wishes to ruin the business that provides her the money to do those things.
Those ones are the ones that decided to wash their dirty linens in the public.
There are thousands of homes like that.
And I am pretty sure that some of you married women reading this are experiencing same.
A man doesn't have to be rich before he marries a wife, but he must be ready to take up the financial responsibilities of his household.
That is how he must start.
He must do this with kindness & sacrifice, and with God on his side.
The wife must see that he has been able to show that he's the head of the home.
Now, this is where I want to land.
There are married men who have maintained this role for many years in their marriage, until things became tough financially.
That's life and it happens. And when this happens, it affords the man the opportunity to see who he is truly married to.
Would his wife change in her behavior towards him because she's genuinely concerned about him, or would she change because she is no longer interested in the marriage?
Will she step into his role temporarily as a support, or would she abandon him to his fate?
Whichever one it is, your prayer as a man is that God may continue to show you mercy and keep you in good health so that you'll continue to be the provider as much as you can.
Because once money is lacking, that marriage will never be the same.
Even if you're married to a good wife.
AJD.
Check your pocket size and your projections based on your reality as a married man.
If you know that your projections don't align, reject having another child with your wife.
The only thing she can do for you, is to carry the pregnancy for 9 months.
After that..
"Are you not a man?"
Your wife will gaslight you, and tell you that:
"If you don't want to take care of this child, I'll do it"
It's all a lie.
She will frustrate you when you're unable to provide for that child.
And she will remind you that the child is yours.
Every married man needs to know this.
Please have kids based on your pocket size, and not the size of you and your wife's.
Women hate to provide.
Especially when you're alive.
Dictate the amount of children that you can cater to.
If your wife wants to get angry, tell her to go to hell.
You'll not feel good or happy, to see your lovely child suffering.
Don't fall for it, even if your wife is making millions.
You're the provider.
She's not.
Don't let her set you up for failure.
I am saying this now, and I hope you young men listen.
Women will not show you mercy when it's time to live up to your responsibilities.
They'll deny you when it comes to accountability.
Na your sperm give her belle.
And that's all she needs to nail you forever.
End.
*The Painful Reality of Misplaced Investment and Priority that Yields in Old Age!!!*
I got married at the age of 30, three years after my NYSC service.
I met my wife at the NYSC camp.
She was beautiful, hardworking, and full of dreams.
Three years later, we became husband and wife.
I secured a banking job shortly after.
Life smiled at me.
I worked tirelessly.
I gave my wife and children the best life I could afford.
I sent my children to the best primary and secondary schools in Lagos.
Nothing was too expensive when it came to their education.
I paid school fees without complaints.
I sacrificed my comfort.
I used every bonus, every savings, every opportunity β for them.
Some of my children studied abroad.
Today, they are doing well.
One is a banker.
One is a surgeon.
One is a pilot.
They all live outside Nigeria now.
I was proud.
I thought I had succeeded as a father.
But I made one mistakeβ¦
A mistake I now live with every day.
I saved nothing for my old age.
I believed my children would be there for me.
After all, everything I had⦠I spent on them.
Today, I am 75 years old.
My banking job is gone.
My strength is gone.
My voice is weaker.
My legs shake when I walk.
I now live alone in the village.
When my wife fell s!ck, my children rushed home.
They took her abroad for treatment.
They promised they would come back for me.
That was years ago.
My wife is still there β living with them.
Cared for.
Surrounded by comfort.
And me?
I sit outside my mud house every evening, watching the sun set.
Sometimes I hold my phone, hoping it will ring.
Sometimes days pass⦠weeks pass⦠without a call.
When I get sick, they only send money for my treatment, without knowing what I want is attention.
When Iβm hungry, I endure it quietly.
When the rain leaks through my roof, I shift my bed.
At night, I ask myself painful questions:
βDid I raise childrenβ¦ or did I raise strangers?β
βWas I wrong to believe love would remember me?β
βWhy did I give everything and keep nothing?β
The truth hurts more than loneliness:
Children grow up.
Life moves on.
Promises fade.
Not because they are wicked β
but because everyone becomes busy with their own lives.
If you are a man reading thisβ¦
Please, love your children.
Train them well.
Give them education.
But do not forget yourself.
Save for your old age.
Prepare for tomorrow.
Do not put your entire future in anyoneβs hands β not even your childrenβs.
Because love is sweetβ¦
but old age is long.
And loneliness is louder when you have no strength left to cry π
#copied
@Templegaurd Uwc sir!
You are doing a great work brother and I don't miss any of your videos...they are a perfect rehearsals for me.... keep it up sir.
Happy birthday Netonna my lovely third son and my 4th Child.....
May the good Lord make your life much easier than it should be.
You will prosper in any environment you find yourself in.
Love from Dad and Mum β₯οΈβ₯οΈ
God is the greatest π
As a parent, I think this video has taught me something useful.
I recommend that you should try it on your kids, too.
I have also shared it with my wife.
Credit: joe_drummer_boy on IG.