Samhita

live, laugh, lobotomy

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

My ex would call me her passenger princess whenever she drove, but she was a bad driver so the princess I felt like was Diana

[Today Years Old @todayyearsold]

Before the war between Android and Apple started, the war between 0.5 and 0.7 users was the one that separate humans from each other

[🎮 @foreeeeeal]

great time to get an english degree honestly nobody can read or write you might become scribe to the king in the next 15 years if you know cursive the way things are going

[I Love Christmas. @Paynuspain]

This was literally the week I was going to start eating more lettuce

[Samhita @smeedss]

OMG!!!

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

BREAKING: The House has passed legislation to make Daylight Saving Time permanent nationwide

[valentine @valawakened]

staying close w people long distance really is about the mundane stuff. i get texts like "made egg toast" "spilled coffee all over my desk:("
"lady on the metro has not one not two but three tiny dogs in her purse" and its like wow. i love you more than words can express

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

I think women should decide what to do with Mitch McConnell's body since he decided what to do with theirs.

[Samhita @smeedss]

Can’t name a single Noah Kahan song…but feeling pressured to lean in 🫠

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

turns out, the secret to looking good in photos is being loved by the person behind the camera.

[broti gupta @BrotiGupta]

if i'm being honest taylor swift and travis kelce had a medium sized indian wedding

[Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_]

imagine the “do not play” list that taylor swift is giving her DJ

[Samhita @smeedss]

I think our biggest misconception of Taylor is that she isn’t a cheugy millennial queen

[TMZ @TMZ]

🏰 Exclusive: Taylor Swift is building a huge castle, garden inside MSG for wedding celebration.

Details: https://t.co/OKpEdsvGA0

[potato bun @erewhonsmoothie]

We need to have a serious talk about whether San Francisco should be allowed to exist

[Samhita @smeedss]

@svershbow So real

[Vir Das @thevirdas]

Who the hell let us kill ourselves sprinting on treadmills for decades before they revealed all we needed to do was incline walk?

[Samhita @smeedss]

How is this not a scented candle

[Ananya @uff_meri_adaa]

there’s nothing I enjoy more than roasting garlic in ghee

[o @acquaintf8]

The Fall of Crumbl Cookies being my favorite GLP-1 causality so far

[Samhita @smeedss]

All it takes is one compliment and suddenly I’m in my “they’re not that bad” era

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Physician: Your body has ran out of magnesium.

Me: 0mg

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

It's hard to think of twitter as the most toxic social media platform when linkedin exists.