Noah Smith

Noah Smith is a writer or something. (he/him)

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

It’s weird that anyone would ever say “no pun intended” when you could say “that was pun-intentional.”

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

@asterios I guess we’ll never know …

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

@JennyJohnsonHi5 Oh yes. This movie is such a delightful romp through truly horrifying sexual violations.

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

Seriously. Fuck this bear.

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

Said Matt Gaetz “if me and you seven
Vote to oust him, we’ll get rid of Kevin”
So through speakericide
His leadership died
And I’m sure that it went straight to … hell.

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

@Ollotreb @nut_history I think the term here would be “southflipper”

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

@stevefrenchvo @PDelPonte @McGruffatNCPC @hillholliday @AccessTalentVO Wow! Does @shaundiston know about this?

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

Happy first anniversary to my most popular tweet of all time. Sadly, we’re still no closer to cracking this case.

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

Today would’ve been Agatha Christie’s 132nd birthday … if it had not been for the actions of one of the people in this room.

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

@JennyJohnsonHi5 Hmm … I don’t think I agree. I don’t think there’s any way he was planning on activating the flux capacitor. And I think he was too panicked to remember he was driving a Time Machine. Maybe he thought he could swerve at high speed better than the van.

[Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3]

Just like with my children, I am constantly calling Alexa and Siri by each other’s names

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

So now, apparently, I have to figure out what costume I’m going to wear when we go to see the Taylor Swift concert movie?

Marriage, year 21.

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

@parabasis The Good German and The Good Shepherd came out one week apart in December of 2006. But I can’t remember anyone making German Shepherd jokes. How did we miss this?

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

Activate Rodney mode …

Geez! If got a mug with a head like that on it, I’d tell the bartender to take it back.

I tell ya, if we had hunches like that, we’d solve every murder on the books!

They say a supermodel can smile with her eyes. This guy can scowl with his hair!

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

You can almost sing this to the tune of “Rainbow Connection.”

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

Ain’t Bobby so cool?

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

🎶Trump indicted and it feels so good🎵

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

@KurtBusiek Geez! Mike Zeck goes after everybody!

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

@johnmoe His job is reach.

[Noah Smith @smithnoah]

@johnmoe His job is Keach.