Smit Satra

[UmdarTamker @UmdarTamker]

Men who pay 850rs. for a haircut are women.

[THE SKIN DOCTOR @theskindoctor13]

Heard a cabinet reshuffle is on the cards.

Requesting the PM to consider swapping the ministries of Shri Nitin Gadkari and Shri Dharmendra Pradhan.

Shri Gadkari has already done more than needed work in transport, so much so that there is virtually nothing left to be done. A man with such a Midas touch, and hunger to bring change even if it's not needed, is exactly what is required in the Education Ministry, where a massive overhaul is needed.

Meanwhile, Shri Dharmendra Pradhan can be transferred to the Transport Ministry. Since the heavy lifting there has already been completed, the ministry now requires someone who won't do much, will leave things exactly as they are, and won't experiment too much. Shri Pradhan, having done remarkably little in the Education Ministry, would be the ideal candidate for the job.

[Denzel Rust @AdemLuz]

Everyone is always rooting for you. Your parents want you to be a great son. Wife wants you to be a great husband. Your boss wants you to be a slam dunk hire. Every first date you’ve ever been on they’ve been rooting for you to get laid. Every time you started to tell a joke people hoped it would have a hilarious punch line. Your proximity to anyone is a reflection of themself, meaning the deck is never stacked against you, and your failures are completely your own

[Nupur J Sharma @UnSubtleDesi]

Let me place this on record. I have ZERO sympathy for TMC and its louts. I hope the central forces beat the shit out of them. I hope the comment folks of Bengal rise. I hope they remember 2021 and make TMC answer for their sins. I truly and genuinely hope.

I don’t know what the results are going to be. But I pray TMC answers for every sin, every slight, every man, woman and child victimised by the barbarians.

[isHaHaHa @hajarkagalwa]

Indian Tax Payers after reading this
https://t.co/9bDZ2sXhoK

[Smit Satra @smitterati_]

Here's what may happen to the woman berating Girish Mahajan *if* things escalate on SM.

1. Detention and Harrasment
2. FIR for hurling abuse at a ruling party minister in a public rally over genuine and visible disruptions in traffic in an already crowded part of Mumbai

[Rahul Shivshankar @RShivshankar]

A PROTEST IS PROTESTED.
WHEN POLITICS BLOCKS ROADS, PUBLIC PATIENCE SNAPS.
A Worli commuter, stuck in a traffic jam for over an hour, storms into BJP-led Mahayuti’s Mahila Jan Akrosh rally furious over missing her child’s pickup.
The protest, targeting opposition over Women’s Reservation, brought roads to a standstill. She confronts organisers, calls out Minister Girish Mahajan, demands rallies be moved off public roads.

[goma @soigomaa]

we live on a planet where trees warn each other of danger through underground networks. where octopuses dream. where elephants return to the bones of their dead and stand over them in silence. where bees communicate through dance, showing each other where to fly. where flowers bloom...where crows remember human faces -especially those who were cruel to them - and pass that memory on to their young. where ants build entire cities. where cats purr at a frequency that can help heal bones. where forests, after fires, grow flowers first.

[CA Vivek Khatri @CaVivekkhatri]

🚨Last night, India switched on a reactor.

Here are 9 numbers nobody is talking about:

→ 72 years: Time since Homi Bhabha conceived this plan
→ 22 years: Time to actually build it
→ ₹7,700 crore: Final cost (started at ₹3,492 crore)
→ 500 MW: Power it will generate
→ 2nd: India's global rank only Russia had this before
→ 25%: India's share of world's thorium reserves
→ 400 years: How long those reserves can power India
→ 200+: Indian companies that built it. Zero foreign designs.
→ 3: Countries that tried and quit - USA, Germany, UK

🧵 A thread that will blow your mind:

[Muji Singh Rangi @mujifren]

Postmortem Report of Captain Saurabh Kalia

Burns: Multiple Cigarette burns on the body.

Facial Injuries: Broken teeth, fractured skulls, chipped noses, and punctured eyes that were removed.

Sensory Mutilation: Ear-drums pierced with hot rods.

Limbs and Genitalia: Amputated Penis and Limbs.

Cause of Death: The injuries were inflicted while he was alive; he was ultimately shot in the head post the torture.

[H™ @MahatmaaGanji]

Acceptance

[Cjay @ced_jayy]

This is a nation of professional protesters.

[Viraj Sheth @viraj_sheth]

You can either cry about other people’s privileges or find your own moat and double down on that.

It can be anything.

Good looks.
Emotional stability.
Demographic advantage.
Language fluency.
Unmatched charisma.
Pattern recognition.
Storytelling.
High tolerance to uncertainty.
Bias for action.
Curiosity.
Taste.

[Smit Satra @smitterati_]

Should've boarded the harbour line.

[The Nalanda Index @Nalanda_index]

Sudha Dwivedi boarded the local, blending in like any other Mumbaikar. But once she flashed the Head TTE badge, chaos followed 200 people fined, ₹55,000 collected in a single day!
Mumbai locals have never seen anything like this one day, one TTE, record-breaking revenue.
This shows that despite cheap tickets, a large number of people in Mumbai still travel without them.

[Hardik Rajgor @Hardism]

I thought this was parody.

I was right.

Liberalism in India is a parody.

Dictators who have massacred lakhs of their own citizens, who don't give basic freedom to women and children, who have unleashed the worst kind of religious conservatism - are celebrated as "beacons of resistance".

And these same people will also tell you that Modi is a fascist dictator who needs to be resisted at all cost. Imagine publicly stating in the same breath that - "Khamenei is a beacon of resistance and Modi if a fascist." I would be embarrassed of appearing in public if I held both these views at the same time.

But they see no duality or hypocrisy in their shamelessness. Thankfully, ordinary Indians do. Which is why they have become irrelevant in the country.

[The Educated Moron @EducatedMoron]

Irrespective of who wins in India vs WI today, this T20 World Cup will have four semifinalists from four different continents.

For all the “why call it a World Cup?” rhetoric sparked by that viral map tweet, this hasn’t happened ever in 22 editions of the FIFA Men’s World Cup.

[Spiricoco Twittter @SpiricocoNg]

Muhammad beheaded 900 Jews at Khaybar. He dug a trench in Medina where he slaughtered them.

Muhammad married the wives of three of his own fighters who died in battle.

Sawda bint Zam'a – widow of Sakran ibn Amr
Umm Salama – widow of Abu Salama
Zaynab bint Khuzayma – widow of Ubayda ibn al-Harith

Muhammad married and slept with a woman whose husband and father he killed at Khaybar, the same night, Safiyya bint Huyayy.

Muhammad ordered the assassination of Ka'b ibn al-Ashraf for writing a poem against him.

Muhammad robbed Qurayshi caravans and stole their goods.

Muhammad ordered the assassination of Asma Bint Marwan, mother of five, for mourning someone he had ordered killed.

Muhammad married the wife of his own adopted son after seeing her unveiled and desired her: Zaynab bint Jahs.

Muhammad beat Aisha when she thought he was cheating on her.

Muhammad slept with a concubine, Maria the Copt. When his wife complained, he vowed not to do it again.

He did it again and told them Allah said he could break his vows.

Muhammad said a false prophet would die by poisoning, and his aorta would be cut.

Muhammad died by poisoning, and his aorta was cut. Muhammad was a false prophet.

Sahih al-Bukhari 4428

“I still feel the pain caused by the food I ate at Khaybar, and at this time, I feel as if my aorta is being cut from that poison.”

Quran 69:44–46:

“And if he had fabricated against Us some sayings, We would have seized him by the right hand; then We would have cut from him the aorta.”

You don't know anything about your religion, your prophet, or the history of your religion.

This is why you spread lies about it. You condemn it, so you say, but still romanticises it to people.

Condemnable.

[goma @soigomaa]

In 200yrs from now, a whole new set of humans will walk on this Earth. We all will be gone. Strangers will live in your house not knowing that you 200yrs ago slept in the same room. No one will remember us. No one will visit our grave. No one will talk about us. We will just be another part of history, So no, it's not that deep.

[Hardik Rajgor @Hardism]

Every social group in India is now a victim

- Upper Castes are victims of an apartheid state
- Backward Castes have been oppressed for thousands of years
- Muslims are victims of a Hindu-majoritarian state
- Hindus aren't getting their rights because 'system unka hai'
- Farmers, labourers and delivery guys are victims of evil capitalists
- Women are victims of a male-dominated society
- Men are victims of laws that favour women
- Taxpayer is victim of apathy and indifference from the system

If you add everyone up, 99% of Indian society sees itself as a victim in some form or another.

Politics in multiple states is about groups wanting to be classified as backward or OBCs. There are entire movements based around it. Victimhood "is" the aspiration. If I can get classified as a 'victim', it will give my group more rights, clout and electoral power.

It wasn't always like this. Victimhood wasn't seen as a virtue. People weren't encouraged to see themselves with pity. People were taught to work on themselves and improve their lives.

It is why groups like the Parsis flourished - they were refugees from a foreign land who came here with nothing. It was an insignificantly tiny population with no voting power or mass movements. They never asked for separate electorates, or reservations or special status.

They built schools, hospitals, businesses and institutions. Disadvantage was treated as a problem to be solved through competence, not as a badge to be weaponised. Suffering did not automatically translate into entitlement. Everyone in the country respects the Parsis for who they are, and what they managed to do as a group.

Never be a victim. Be like the Parsis.

[Anand Ranganathan @ARanganathan72]

No, I won't give exiled Kashmiri Hindus money - every politician promises that. I will, instead make sure their children never have to ask for money. 5% seats in Maharashtra colleges will henceforth be reserved for Kashmiri Hindus - Bal Thackeray, born this day, January 23, 1926.