Dan Evans

I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt.

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

Got to the first slide of my wrapped and I realized that it would be impossible for me to care less. Thanks for harvesting my data, I guess.

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

@carlybellexo

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

@pizzaxpaul

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

Mm/dd/yyyy is the best date format. I will die on this hill.

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

@pizzaxpaul You were a wholesome child

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

Now that Elon Musk owns Twitter when do we get our free Teslas?

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

I once accidentally booked a red-eye flight for myself. Now booking a flight to Texas has me OCD checking every detail

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

Things are returning to normal. Anti-vaxxers have gone back to talking about chem trails

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

@pizzaxpaul Fivehead*

[thusi @SMTElitist]

dam he goin off

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

Dude's truck is so jacked up his penis must be an innie

[cats being weird little guys 👅 @weirdlilguys]

you ever just

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

What problem could possibly arise by entrusting all of the telecommunications infrastructure in the country to 2 private companies? #rogersoutage

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

@fadedpastries Neither. It means we have room to be jealous of the other provinces cause Ontario is the butthole of Canada.

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

@carlybellexo

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

@fadedpastries 🚩🚩🚩

[Kerri (she/her) @KerriSmith2012]

Homeowners, I have a question for you.

How?

Sincerely, a millennial

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

Just got asked about diversity hires on a work survey. I hate how this has become like a checkbox for companies. Just hire the person who is most capable and competent at the position. Hiring someone based on gender/race is just as bad as not hiring them based on gender/race.

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

@carlybellexo

[Dan Evans @smokeybear1986]

@pizzaxpaul Dude, I've been trying to tell you this since we were kids