Tori Griffiths

General Nonsense.
K. Bye.

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Barber: I hate my wife, she’s a nasty piece of work
Me, wanting a good haircut: I hate your wife too

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Jesus... I'm an Aussie, that should be out... #ashes

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Pope is just not the standard a Number 3 needs to be #ashes

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Stokes has been bloody unreal. As an Aussie fan I'm very glad there is only one of him! Drop Pope, bat stokes at 3 next test I reckon. #ashes

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

@TheBarmyArmy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

If we get bowled out by a Bumrah-less India we deserve the loss. #AUSvsIND

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

@MichaelVaughan Agree on that one Vaughany. Not enough to be out.

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

@LokeshKhatri__ @CricketAus @ICC Did you not watch the deflection? Can see the ball change direction...

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

My work still does secret santa the proper way, where noone knows who got who. I could Chuck anthrax in that bitch. Amanda from accounts dying this Christmas.

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Jingle.

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

@KSI I'd be looking at my own team and circle. How did no one pull you up before release.

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Places I don't trust Spotters - Gyms for weaklings, Trump rallies.

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Can't be just me?

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Drunk friend: Imagine a puzzle that when you place the final piece you have an orgasm.
Me, hesitantly: isn't that every puzzle?

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Feeding bread to a duck: I know it's bad for you but you deserve it.

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

@iiNet email servers down?

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Me: What can I do? I'm completely obsessed with checking my pedometer.
Therapist: hmm, well there is a 12 step program for addiction.
Me *biting lip*: and how do we track those steps?

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Me: I woke up this morning

Me, if I worked for modern media: Perth man found alive in bed.

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

You can tell alot about a person if you have them tailed by a PI for 3-6 weeks.

[Tori Griffiths @smooth_torrence]

Fiend energy is that Abba song where they say "thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing."

Writing a banger song thanking yourself for making banger songs is proper elite.