Captain Oats

The biggest phoney

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

What’s it like to be funny in a non self deprecating way ?

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Honestly? All roads are pointing me to get into the vending machine business

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Thru-hikers are gorpified vagrants

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Some days I want to eat the mandarins other days not so much

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Look I know I’m a wriggly squirmy person to sit next to and it’s pretty annoying but I genuinely believe That you should always be in search of the most comfortable position and sometimes it changes rapidly so you end up moving around a lot.

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

When I read Hilma af Klint I pronounce in my mind as Hilma as fucckkk Klint

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

@wellypooscene No way

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Knowledge is being able to identify many types of edible leafy green weeds
Wisdom is not making a pesto out of all of them

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

I have 7 pillows (4 standard, 1 cicle, 1 fluffy, 1 cute ornamental flower) and they all have a different place

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Recently fallen into a pretty neurotic night time vs day time pillow set up

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Everyone on hinge loves to yap, is neurospicy and won over by sweat treats

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Started paying attention and I stg I hear a conversation about car tyres everyday 2nd day

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Office dress code smart = someone will wear jeans
Office dress code smart casual = superman tshirt
Office dress code come as you are :-) = people in stinky gym clothes

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Started flossing
Felt faint
Gave up

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Man studio lunch at gohar world got me feeling for the employees sometimes. If I worked there I would be like pretty please Laila can we do a refresher of the food pyramid I want some carbs today

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Me if I were an overachiever

[Rob @jezfrompeepshow]

the scariest type of people are overachiever stoners

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

I love to complain about something for 5 minutes and at the end say but honestly I can’t complain

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

Been thinking about buying a house so I spoke to my financial advisor and they told me first things first get a job

[Captain Oats @snackuporsackup]

What do the three baked potatos, two fried eggs and one raw carrot have in common? .....being my lunch!