Jake Gutkin

“I’ve always wanted to be crowned Hay King, but alas, the world shines down on Mose” -Dwight Shrute

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

Interesting that I’m way more excited about the 20 year old Pokemon Fire Red/Leaf Green games coming to the Switch than I was about Pokemon Z-A coming out

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

It was my 4th day of work today and I only cried once today, so I call that an accomplishment!

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

The #StateOfTheUnion has been a crapshoot for years. Both the Democrats and Republicans are all childish, partisan, greedy loons who should be all voted out. Let’s actually vote people in that want to actually fix issues instead of trying to get under each other’s skin.

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

JD Vance trying to seduce Tim Waltz with his smoky eyes #VPDebate2024

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

I like how whenever Kamala is talking, Trump’s face constantly looks like he’s trying to push out a massive poop during the #Debate2024

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

I’m starting to think that Robin Williams was our Universe’s “Anchor Being,” and after he died in 2014, our timeline started to deteriorate to what it is now #DeadpoolandWolverine

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

I finally sat down to play #StarWarsBattlefrontClassicCollection , saw that I needed to get Xbox Game Pass to play multiplayer (which I don’t have), sighed at my waste of money, and immediately turned it off. I now understand the negative reviews 😂😅😭

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

Dakota Johnson has appeared three times so far on tonight’s #SNL and each time she looks like a completely different person 😂

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

I think it’s time for me to sign up for season 2 of #SquidGamesTheChallenge . I’m not in shape, I’m not competitive, and I’m not intuitive, but my sense of humor will get me that 4.56M bucks 😂 #squidgame #SquidGameTheChallenge

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

It’s absolutely horrendous that there is no bus lane going to the Lincoln Tunnel. Make commuting to the city better!

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

2pm when you’re fasting for Yom Kippur:

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

Is it just me, or does Roger Stone and Rudy Giuliani remind you of Scooby Doo villains?

*rips off melting monster face to expose Rudy as the monster of the week*

“I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you and your little dog too” 😂

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

So explain to me like I’m 5 why Pokemon Go is releasing Gen 9 Pokémon before they’ve even gotten to continue Gen 8, and before they’ve even finished off Gen 7? Like what are we even doing anymore? Lmao

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

Special Counsel Jack Smith looks like the final boss in an epic fantasy video game, and I’m all for it

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

I think I’m at that point in my unemployment job search that the only way I can get out is if I run into @MrBeast at the store and he gifts me a million 😂😭

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

Someone explain to me how Teddy Roosevelt has not gotten a tv show chronicling his life yet

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

Hear me out: they’ve are slowly building up to a Super Smash Bros crossover. They already established Sonic in his live action movies, they already have Pokémon and Pikachu from Detective Pikachu, and now they have the Mario Movie. They’re doing an Avengers movie but w/ Smash

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

I like how this year is the year of wholesome actors. Pedro Pascal, Brendan Fraser, and @jackblack backs must hurt from carrying Hollywood!

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

Always nice when you get a job rejection from a freaking public library lol

[Jake Gutkin @snakesummerheat]

So yesterday I declined a 2nd interview because I couldn’t make a 3 hr interview with less than 24 hr notice (due to family obligation). Now today I’ve gotten 2 other interview requests for next week 😂