i’m sorry if i did not reply earlier…
as you should know ive been in a blackout for 4 days straight, don’t be worry, we are fine thanks god i didnt feel anything bc i was too tired to stay awake.
and it’s enough, whenever and however you find the way, when your mind is calm and clear and you know what to do, i trust you will let me know in some way. i too long to see you happy and safe; that is what matters most to me. with all my soul, i yearn for your happiness now.
i understand, for i too have my own ways to cope. i know YOU, and i will never judge you. that is why i seek to clear your mind, so that no false ideas may cloud your judgment. i would never wish for you to see me with hatred,
though i know you don’t, for the heart can be deceptive, and the mind as well. that is why i spoke of appearances then, not to point at you, but to bring clarity.
i too am lost, i too am afraid, so very afraid, but i never wish to hurt you. if in any way i am causing you pain, let me know. if you wish to stop seeing pieces of me, if you desire that i disappear, i will understand, if that is what brings you peace….
don’t think you must apologize for how you feel, only know that it is not easy for me to walk away from you, instead of by your side. do not convince yourself that i was cruel for ending our bond, for it was breaking me, and you are not blind to that.
do you believe it would have been easy for me to ignore you if i were here now? i do not think so. i love you too, i miss you too much as well. do not imagine i carry this lightly, for once again i remind you… appearances deceive.
think of the pain it caused me not to have you near, bound by those limitations. truly, there was no other way, and though it is painful, it was the wisest and most merciful decision we could make.
please, do not burden yourself with blame for things that were never within your reach, nor diminish your effort, for only you know how much you gave. it will be easier when we accept that our paths could no longer remain entwined, may it be only for a time,
God willing. we needed to pause this journey, as we already spoke: what future could we have had, living at opposite extremes without support? think of that, think of how torturous it would have been, when most of the weight fell upon you, the one who could move.
never feel regret for doing the things that bring you joy and help you heal. whatever they may be, as long as you are safe; stay safe, always. it warms my heart to see you embracing and receiving the things that make your soul glow. it truly does. ♡