I see your death in everything.
It never leaves my mind.
And every time I remember it, I realize how unfair and cruel life was to you.
My words won't bring you back.
Not my tears, not the sleepless nights spent thinking about you.
They all mean nothing to you now.
I am sorry
I dyed my hair purple today.
Remember when you told me you were going to dye yours first?
I wish you had.
I wish you were still here so you could do all the things you wanted to do
So I drown it out like I always do
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you
And I chase it down
With a shot of truth
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you
You're gone from this ugly world, and my heart still refuses to accept it.
I keep thinking that if I had known how little time we had left, I would have spent every second with you. I would have stayed longer, talked more, listened more, and told you how much I loved you
I can't understand how I'm supposed to live the rest of my life without seeing you again.
Never again.
No matter what I do, no matter how badly I want it, I can't call you, hug you, hear your voice, or see your smile again.
You won't be able to experience the life you wished for.
You won't see your dreams come true.
You won't visit the places you wanted to see,or become the person you were trying so hard to be.
And that breaks my heart.
I hate how people try to make your death sound peaceful.
How they soften it. How they smooth the edges of it. How they turn it into something gentle and understandable because the truth is too painful to look at.
I hate how people try to make it seem normal.
If the truth hurts, then it hurts.
If it breaks my heart every day, then it breaks my heart every day.
I'd rather carry that pain than build a comforting fantasy that asks me to forget what you went through.
I'd rather suffer with the truth than sleep peacefully beside a lie