izabela

not ihan | 🍓 bm! 20.3

[izabela @snufkincal]

Hi !! Not new <3
★ she/they, 20 ('05) mdni
♥︎ not fatphobic !!!
★ pro recovery <3
♥︎ into kp0p, reading & video games

♡ / ↻ to be moots :]

#ricecaketwt #edrtwt

[izabela @snufkincal]

wouldn’t be a birthday if i wasn’t crying

[izabela @snufkincal]

@hachucal thank you!!!

[izabela @snufkincal]

its my birthday and in hangover as fuck

[izabela @snufkincal]

i can’t believe i saw louder than bombs holy fuck

[izabela @snufkincal]

soon at my lw i can NOT fuck this up

[izabela @snufkincal]

just had my omad for the day and it was disgusting

[izabela @snufkincal]

now why do i look the exact same as i did 10kg ago😹😹😹😹😹

[izabela @snufkincal]

it’s still on the lower side so i’m not complaining but i’m scared that bc i remember calories of everything in my kitchen, i’ll start obsessing and then binge

[izabela @snufkincal]

realized i cant stop counting them because i remember the calories of the things i usually eat :/ today i’ve had 370 calories and i’ve just been eating whenever i feel hungry without trying to stay under a limit…? maybe it’s because it’s summer that i don’t feel too hungry

[izabela @snufkincal]

i think i won’t count calories anymore, it stresses me out and i’ll lose weight for about a week or two and then binge, but recently i haven’t been weighing myself or counting or reaching my daily steps and i’ve lost weight ANYWAY even though i’ve been eating lots of junkfood

[izabela @snufkincal]

i miss my big sister i’m literally so close to crawling back to her to apologize for grieving her father just so she will care for me again

[izabela @snufkincal]

been eating pizza and chocolate and ice cream and fries and burgers and i’ve just been in bed sleeping for the past week or two and i lost weight ??? maybe i’ve been subconsciously eating less because i don’t obsess over calories, even though i still don’t like my body

[izabela @snufkincal]

i think i won’t count calories anymore, it stresses me out and i’ll lose weight for about a week or two and then binge, but recently i haven’t been weighing myself or counting or reaching my daily steps and i’ve lost weight ANYWAY even though i’ve been eating lots of junkfood

[izabela @snufkincal]

dumb dumb dumb just stupid and awful and horrible and disgusting and weird and i feel like an alien pretending to be human i’m not even a person

[izabela @snufkincal]

how did i end up so stupid it’s not fair it’s not even my fault because i used to study all the time i was a fucking nerd then some adult man decided to ruin me and i couldn’t go near males again for years and failed all my classes its HIS fault and i had to go stupid for it

[izabela @snufkincal]

i don’t even deserve to go back to school again i’m jus stupid and dumb and i can’t do anything right so i’ll just fail again or get overwhelmed and drop out again and i’ll just be a joke to everyone to my friends to my classmates to my teachers to my family i’m just the failure

[izabela @snufkincal]

i gotta walk 18k tomorrow cause i messed up yesterday

[izabela @snufkincal]

i messed up so now i wanna die

[izabela @snufkincal]

how to reduce bloating cause i just ate a 95kcal soup and look like i’ve eaten 5000kcals and i got someplace to be today

[izabela @snufkincal]

i’m a huge nerd and pretty WHY don’t i have a girlfriend yet

[izabela @snufkincal]

lowkey nice to vent to people who r actually there for me instead of leaving me on delivered for a week or responding “oh damn”

[izabela @snufkincal]

always after i vent i feel like a douchebag cause why did i ruin the mood oh i’m evil