so_picki

“Anni, amori e bicchieri di vino, nun se contano mai.” Years, lovers and glasses of wine; these things must not be counted.

[hey @noconoces22]

starbucks app glitching saying my order is ready made me just question my entire existence thinking like who tf is hacking my starbucks account🤣🤣🤣 good thing twitter exists so i know i’m not going crazy

[Phoebe Bain @notnotphoebe]

My Google Drive storage is full do you guys think I can delete my AP US History essays yet or will I need those

[Sok-It @javasok]

I can buy my own flowers but if you could buy my iced coffee that would be nice

[common sad girl @sadgirlkms]

wish i could take my brain out and blow on it like a nintendo ds game card

[nicole @swiftiieeeeee]

Did the ticketmaster bruise paint you blue?
Just between us, how long were you in that queue?

[Gene Killian @genethelawyer]

It’s called the “Eras” tour because if you try to log in to Ticketmaster all you get are era messages

[Lauren @Laurparkerr]

If Chick Fil A was in charge of the Ticketmaster queue I would’ve had Taylor Swift tickets within MINUTES just saying

[ADHD Jesse @adhdjesse]

The ADHD urge to work on literally anything other than the one thing you should be working on.

[Laurazepam @andlikelaura]

my favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons

[so_picki @so_picki]

Dear tampon/pad companies (specifically @poise) please show me one REAL woman who would willingly jump on a bounce house or trampoline on their period?! I would quite literally rather die 😩

[mike honcho @JohnMacDonald64]

If you classify today or yesterday’s events as a “win,” unfollow me, block me; don’t ever talk to to me again. I can’t believe this is where we have fallen to as a society.

[Jess Mitter, DO @jessmitter]

Just want everyone to know in my life that I live in New York now and would love visitors, especially from the following states: AL, AZ, AR, GA, ID, IA, KY, LA, MI, MS, MO, ND, OH, OK, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, WV, WI, & WY.

[so_picki @so_picki]

“Welcome to Taco Bell - just so you know we’re out of all the ingredients to make tacos…” @tacobell wtf?! 🤔

[Laura Marie @lmegordon]

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife's plans for the second time.

[Andrea Junker @Strandjunker]

If selling cakes makes bakers participants in gay marriages, then selling assault rifles makes gun manufacturers participants in mass shootings.

[Gene Wu @GeneforTexas]

I don't know how to break it to you, but...

If UNIVERSAL BACKGROUND CHECKS and RED FLAG LAWS create an insurmountable barrier to you owning a firearm, then you ARE the person we're worried about.

[so_picki @so_picki]

If you saw me pull into the liquor store parking lot with @taylorswift13 on max volume…mind your business

[Fred Guttenberg @fred_guttenberg]

I love you @jimmykimmel @JimmyKimmelLive.

Thank you!!!