jordan collier

I love glitter and hockey and laser cats and the Buffalo Bills.

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@bun0nz @SanJoseSharks @SAP McGinn AND Sheppard? Come on dude

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@camilskyc I have been instructed to decorate our house with hearts!

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

I asked the 3yo what kind of birthday he wanted to have this year, expecting fire trucks or emergency vehicles or possibly demolition derby. Nope. He wants a valentines party. And he’s consistent about it too. So, valentines party in October I guess.

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

What’s it like to have kids that sleep past 5:45 am? Is it nice? It sounds nice.

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@bun0nz Take that, squirrels

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

Our new place has an apricot tree, which I was very excited about, but I’m afraid we won’t be able to actually enjoy any of the fruit because damn squirrels or rats or something keep eating all of them before they’re ripe enough to pick 😠

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@bun0nz Super convenient today also bc we’re trying to pack the entire house

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

Can someone pls tell my 4mo that it’s okay to take naps that are longer than 24 minutes. She doesn’t seem to believe me

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@bun0nz Oh and to make it better Sebastian is out of town until Sunday night

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

The 4mo took 3 HOURS to go to sleep last night and then decided that 5:30 was the perfect time to wake up this morning, which the 3yo agreed with wholeheartedly. So here we are. I’m so tired.

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@clhubes My 3yo figured out how to unlock the bathroom door from outside 🥲

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

I tell ya, nothing humbles you faster than discovering dozens of candid photos your 3 year old took of you. That upward angle? Brutal.

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@bun0nz Hmmm okay okay that’s pretty impressive I’ll let it slide this time

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@bun0nz She WOULD say hey kiddo

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@bun0nz

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@bun0nz So proud of u bby!

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@bun0nz

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@bun0nz @VGKGear This is the worst

[jordan collier @soapylikebear]

@ShouldHaveCat @bun0nz