cal

Forget what you heard on any other page, I am the only reputable news source

[cal @sockcal]

Every other week I fall in love with a starbucks barista

[cal @sockcal]

BUY TESLA BUY TESLA BUY TESLA

[cal @sockcal]

Oh how I miss the bliss of youthful ignorance

[cal @sockcal]

Tell me how this Wendy's 4 for 4 just cost me $7

[cal @sockcal]

Same with gambling and pretty much everything else in life. I love losing money

[cal @sockcal]

I've only lost money in the stock market. There has been no gain for me

[cal @sockcal]

If I were a creative director I'd say something like "no that doesn't look right"

[cal @sockcal]

🧪 @Gatorade I scanned one of your products on @YukaUS and it contains additives assessed as high-risk (Yellow 6, Monopotassium phosphate). I ask you to remove them in order to protect consumer health. #NotInMyProduct https://t.co/2d4jVfpXZR

[cal @sockcal]

my weiner is tired

had a long day

[cal @sockcal]

over under how many times i'll think about smashing my balls with a hammer today

[cal @sockcal]

Catch me at the costco food court going absolutely wild

[cal @sockcal]

The urinal cakes at cheesecake factory🤤🤤

[cal @sockcal]

WE LIVE
https://t.co/pVr27ahsSn

[cal @sockcal]

It's cold for one day in California and mfs start talking like they from New York

[cal @sockcal]

I accidentally stayed on Twitter for too long

[cal @sockcal]

I had a dream last night that I was unbanned from Instagram and that my posts were lowkey popping off

[cal @sockcal]

Snapchat memories from 7 years ago make me want to travel back in time and give myself the beating of a life time

[cal @sockcal]

Checked my horoscope for the day and it told me to kill myself

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

FAFO