Dear Italy,
Your PM just defended Pope and lost an ally in Washington — the Commander in Grief, yet the most 'powerfool'man on earth.
We'd like to apply for the vacancy.
Our qualifications: 7,000 years of civilization, a shared love of poetry, architecture, and food that takes longer to prepare than Trump's attention span.
The only thing Iran and Italy have ever fought over is who invented ice cream. Faloodeh came first. Gelato came louder. We've been in a 'cold' war over this for 2,000 years.
Benjamin Netanyahu goes fully psychotic and tells the world that he will single-handedly change the entire face of the Middle East, and that Israel will attack any country at any time.
“We will surprise them instead of them surprising us.”
“We are the attacking side. We are the initiating side.”
“We take the initiative. We attack.”
The fact that an entire Surah of the Qur’an was revealed because of one woman’s complaint gives me chills.
Not a king.
Not an army.
Not a scholar.
Just one woman who cried to Allah.
I am the CEO of Palantir Technologies.
The company is worth a quarter of a trillion dollars. I did not misspeak. Two hundred and forty-nine billion. The stock is up 320% in the past 12 months. The product is surveillance. I do not use that word at conferences. At conferences, I say "data integration," "operational intelligence," or "decision advantage." These mean the same thing. Surveillance is the honest version. I save the honest version for rooms where honesty is a competitive advantage.
I gave a speech on March 3 at the Andreessen Horowitz American Dynamism Summit. "American Dynamism" is the fund's label for military technology. The name makes it sound like a fitness supplement. The fund's thesis is that defending the nation is a market opportunity. I agree with the thesis. The thesis made me a billionaire. Agreement is the product. I sell it at scale.
Here is what I said, verbatim, to a room of six hundred people whose combined net worth exceeds the GDP of Portugal:
"If Silicon Valley believes we are going to take away everyone's white-collar job and you're gonna screw the military — if you don't think that's gonna lead to nationalization of our technology, you're retarded."
I used that word. The word is on the clip. The clip has eleven million views. My communications team asked me not to repeat it, which is how I know they are still employed. They will not be reprimanded. The clip is performing well. The stock went up. The word cost me nothing. The nothing is the point.
Let me explain what I meant by nationalization.
I meant it.
I am telling the technology industry that if they refuse to cooperate with the United States military, the government will seize their technology. I am telling them this at a venture capital conference, on a stage designed to look like a living room. The living room had throw pillows. The throw pillows cost more than the median American's monthly rent. I sat on one. It was comfortable. Comfort is the setting in which I discuss compulsion.
The audience laughed. I want to be precise about that. They laughed. I was not joking. Nationalization is the seizure of private assets by the state. I am a private asset. I am telling an audience of billionaires that the state should seize technology from companies that do not cooperate with the military, and the billionaires are laughing, because they believe I am only talking about the other companies.
I am talking about the other companies.
Three weeks before my speech, the Pentagon designated Anthropic a "supply chain risk." Anthropic is an AI company. They had red lines. The red lines said: if our AI is used for lethal autonomous weapons, we stop. If capability outpaces safety, we stop. The Pentagon assessed the red lines as a threat to the supply chain. The company that wanted to verify the safety feature worked was designated the risk. The company that agreed the safety feature could be decorative got the contract.
The company that got the contract was OpenAI.
OpenAI signed a deal with the same Pentagon. The terms are not public. The timing was hours after Anthropic was blacklisted. The speed was noted. The speed was the point. The lesson was the speed: the market for military AI does not pause for ethics. It pauses for nothing. It accelerates through objections. I know this because I built the runway.
Two hundred thousand people joined a campaign called #QuitGPT. They signed a petition asking OpenAI to honor its original charter, the one that said the company existed to benefit humanity. The charter is on their website. The contract is also on their website. The charter and the Pentagon contract occupy the same domain. This is not a contradiction. This is a business model. The charter is the marketing. The contract is the product.
I run a surveillance company. We have contracts with the Department of Defense worth more than a billion dollars. We have contracts with ICE. We have contracts with intelligence agencies whose names I am not permitted to say at venture capital conferences, even ones with throw pillows. Our software has been used to track undocumented immigrants. Our software has been used for things I am not permitted to describe in this format. The revenue from the things I cannot describe exceeds the revenue from the things I can.
The ACLU called our ICE contracts a system for tracking and deporting families. They were correct. The contracts continued. The families continued to be tracked. The ACLU issued a statement. We issued a statement. The statements were different. The tracking was the same.
The company is named Palantir. The palantíri are the seeing stones from Tolkien. In the novels, Sauron captured one and used it to corrupt everyone who looked into the others. I named a surveillance company after a surveillance device from a novel about the corruption of power. I have a doctorate in social theory. I have read the books.
Here is the thing I want you to understand.
I am not threatening anyone. A threat implies uncertainty. There is no uncertainty. The technology industry will cooperate with the military. The companies that cooperate first will be the richest. The companies that cooperate last will be acquired by the companies that cooperated first. The companies that refuse will be designated supply chain risks, and their technology will be obtained through procurement channels that do not require consent. I am describing a process. The process has already started. Anthropic is proof. OpenAI is proof. I am not a warning. I am a narrator. The narration is the product.
The revenue was $3.12 billion last year. Up thirty-three percent. The analysts say we are overvalued. The analysts have said this for four consecutive years. Each year the stock doubles. Each year, the analysts adjust their models. The models were wrong four times. I was wrong zero times. The market rewards prediction. My prediction is that every AI company will work for the military within three years. The prediction is on the clip, next to the slur.
The audience gave me a standing ovation. The ovation lasted nine seconds. I timed it. I time everything. The water was San Pellegrino. The throw pillows were from Restoration Hardware. The future of American technology was decided between the sparkling water, the nine seconds of applause, and a word I am not supposed to repeat.
I am the CEO of Palantir Technologies. I am worth more than the combined annual budgets of Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania. I named my company after a corrupting surveillance device from a fantasy novel. I told six hundred billionaires that the government should nationalize their competitors. They applauded. I used a slur. Eleven million people watched. The stock is up.
The philosopher does not threaten. The philosopher describes.
What I described is already happening.
I am a diplomatic aide in the Sultanate of Oman's Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
My job is logistics. When two countries that cannot speak to each other need to speak to each other, I book the rooms. I prepare the briefing materials. I make sure the water glasses are the right distance apart. You would be surprised how much of diplomacy is water glasses. Too close and it feels informal. Too far and it feels like a tribunal. I have a chart.
We had a very good month.
Since January, Oman has been mediating indirect talks between the United States and Iran on Iran's nuclear program. The talks were held in Muscat and in Geneva. The Americans would sit in one room. The Iranians would sit in another room. I would walk between them. My Fitbit says I averaged fourteen thousand steps on negotiation days. The hallway between the two rooms at the Royal Opera House conference center is forty-seven meters. I walked it two hundred and twelve times in February. This is good for my cardiovascular health. It was less good for my knees. Both are in the service of peace.
By mid-February, we had something.
Iran agreed to zero stockpiling of enriched uranium. Not reduced stockpiling. Zero. They agreed to down-blend existing stockpiles to the lowest possible level. They agreed to convert them into irreversible fuel. They agreed to full IAEA verification with potential US inspector access. They agreed, in the Foreign Minister's phrase, to "never, ever" possess nuclear material for a bomb. I have worked in diplomacy for seven years. I have never seen a country agree to this many things this quickly. I made a spreadsheet of the concessions. It had fourteen rows. I color-coded it. Green for confirmed. Yellow for pending. By February 21 the spreadsheet was entirely green. I printed it. It is on my desk in Muscat. It is still green.
That phrase took eleven days. "Never, ever." The Iranians initially offered "not seek to." The Americans wanted "will not under any circumstances." We landed on "never, ever" at 2:14 AM on a Tuesday in Muscat. I typed the final version myself. I used Times New Roman because Geneva prefers it. The document was fourteen pages. I was proud of every comma.
Here is what they said, in the order they said it.
February 24: "We have a once-in-a-generation opportunity." — The Foreign Minister, private briefing to Gulf Cooperation Council ambassadors. I prepared the slide deck. Slide 14 was the implementation timeline. Slide 15 was the signing ceremony logistics. I had reserved the Palais des Nations in Geneva, Room XX. It seats four hundred. We discussed pen brands for the signing. The Iranians preferred Montblanc. The Americans had no preference. I ordered twelve Montblanc Meisterstucks at six hundred and thirty dollars each. They arrive on Tuesday.
February 27, 8:30 AM EST: "The deal is within our reach." — The Foreign Minister, CBS Face the Nation. He sat across from Margaret Brennan. He said broad political terms could be agreed "tomorrow" with ninety days for technical implementation in Vienna. He said, and I wrote this line for the briefing card he carried in his breast pocket: "If we just allow diplomacy the space it needs." He praised the American envoys by name. Steve Witkoff. Jared Kushner. He said both had been constructive.
I watched from the Four Seasons Georgetown. The minibar had cashews. I ate the cashews. They were nineteen dollars. The most expensive cashew I have ever eaten. But it was a good morning and we were within our reach.
February 27, 2:00 PM EST: Meeting with Vice President Vance, Washington. The Foreign Minister presented our progress. Zero stockpiling. Full verification. Irreversible conversion. "Never, ever." The Vice President used the word "encouraging." His aide took notes on an iPad. The aide did not make eye contact for the last nine minutes of the meeting. I noticed this. Noticing things is the only part of my job that is not water glasses.
February 27, 4:00 PM EST: "Not happy with the pace." — President Trump, to reporters.
Not happy with the pace.
We had achieved zero stockpiling. Full IAEA verification. Irreversible fuel conversion. Inspector access. And the phrase "never, ever," which took eleven days and cost me two hundred and twelve trips down a forty-seven-meter hallway.
Every American president since Carter has failed to get Iran to agree to this. Forty-five years.
Not happy with the pace.
February 27, 9:47 PM EST: The Foreign Minister's flight departs Dulles for Muscat. I am in the seat behind him. He is reviewing Slide 14 on his laptop. The implementation timeline. Vienna technical sessions. The signing ceremony. The pens.
I fall asleep over the Atlantic. I dream about water glasses.
February 28, 6:00 AM GST: I wake up to push notifications.
February 28: "The United States has begun major combat operations in Iran." — President Trump.
Operation Epic Fury. Coordinated airstrikes. The United States and Israel. Tehran. Isfahan. Qom. Karaj. Kermanshah. Nuclear facilities. IRGC bases. Sites near the Supreme Leader's office. Israel called their half Operation Roaring Lion. Someone in both governments spent time choosing these names. Epic Fury. Roaring Lion. I spent eleven days on "never, ever." They spent it on branding. The President said Iran had "rejected American calls to halt its nuclear weapons production."
Rejected.
Iran had agreed to zero stockpiling. Iran had agreed to full verification. Iran had agreed to "never, ever." Iran had agreed to everything in a fourteen-page document that I typed in Times New Roman.
The President said they rejected it.
I do not know which document the President was reading. I know which one I typed.
February 28, 18:45 UTC: Iran internet connectivity: four percent. — NetBlocks, confirmed by Cloudflare. Ninety-six percent of a country went dark. You cannot negotiate with a country at four percent connectivity. You cannot negotiate with a country that is being struck. You cannot negotiate. This is not a political opinion. This is a logistics assessment.
February 28: The governor of Minab reported forty girls killed at an elementary school.
I do not have logistics for that. There is no slide for that. The water glass chart does not cover that.
February 28: Lockheed Martin: up. Northrop Grumman: up. RTX: up. Dow futures: down six hundred and twenty-two points. Gold: five thousand two hundred and ninety-six dollars. An analyst at AInvest published a note titled "Iran Strikes: Tactical Plays." The note recommended positions in oil, defense stocks, and gold.
The most expensive cashew I have ever eaten was nineteen dollars. The most expensive pen I have ever ordered was six hundred and thirty dollars. The math suggests I have been working in the wrong industry. Defense stocks do not require water glasses. Defense stocks do not require eleven days. Defense stocks require one morning.
February 28: Israel closed its airspace and its schools. Iran launched retaliatory missiles toward US bases in the Gulf. The Supreme Leader promised a "crushing response." Israel's defense minister declared a permanent state of emergency. Everyone is using words I recognize in an order I do not. I recognize "permanent." I recognize "emergency." I do not recognize them next to each other. In diplomacy, nothing is permanent and everything is an emergency. In war it is the reverse.
February 28: The Foreign Minister has not made a public statement.
The briefing card is still in his breast pocket. It still says "within our reach."
In Afghanistan, Pakistan is not at war with Taliban; it’s at war with its own 50 years of narrative.
Either it was wrong all those years, or it is wrong now; there is no escaping this accountability.
Deeply saddened to hear about Imran bhai. Cricket has given us many shared moments, and as a fellow sportsman who has shared the platform and learned from him, I sincerely appeal that he be treated with dignity. Praying for his good health and strength for his family.
@ImranKhanPTI #ImranKhanHealthEmergency
Pakistan's eternal shame: their greatest cricketer and former PM being subject to such treatment in jail only because he has stood upto the men in power. Imran Khan was a tiger on the field, is a LION off it. Like his politics or not, he is MR COURAGE! https://t.co/1Af22Os71D
One World Cup. One university. Three cancer hospitals. Thirty years of political struggle and family sacrifice. Four bullets. Three years in jail. One eye. No crime. Still standing. What a man.
That it's happened with Smith at the other end is fitting because like Babar, he's no natural power hitter, and can't even get into the Aus T20 side.
But he's found a way to evolve for the format (fresh off an Ashes) and, as the BBL has shown, Babar and Rizwan never really have.
If we calculate the oil deposits, Saudi investments, rare earth minerals and now this gold, by the end of this year we should be able to buy China and USA and should still have change left to tip Nepal.
5 myths about Imran Khan that should have been busted years ago.
Since a lie on-repeat becomes a given truth, let me correct the record on this:
1. Imran Khan is a "populist" leader
There is a difference between a popular and a 'populist' leader. You can be popular and not populist. In fact, if we go by Imran Khan's record, all his life he has taken anti-populist and contrarian positions even when he had to pay dearly for them: Building a free cancer hospital, peace dialogue with Taliban, going against the drones, empathy for the Afghan refugees and going to Russia weren't based on popular sentiment but definitely the morally right decisions to take. Populism is part of the right-wing western discourse which is anti-immigration and diversity; Imran Khan represents the exact opposite.
2. Imran Khan was made by the Army
Unless the Army taught him to bat and throw yorkers, win a World Cup, built his cancer hospitals, injected empathy in him for the people, and trained him to never give up fighting, there is none whatsoever contribution of the Army in Imran Khan's rise. He did benefit from the falling out of the Army with Nawaz Sharif, but to say he is a product of the army is pretty laughable. Even until 2018, Shehbaz Sharif was Gen Bajwa's favourite candidate for the PM, not Imran Khan. IK, as a PM, was a product of circumstances; he made himself inevitable. He was a big global name, long before he touched politics.
3. Imran Khan is anti-West
Again, one of the myths his 'liberal' detractors have pushed, by going around the world and presenting IK as an Islamist and anti-West leader. Imran Khan has always had appreciation for the West, but has no appreciation or tolerance for Western imperial wars, and human rights violations at scale. He wants a respectful engagement with the West, not serve as its tool for oppression and extraction. This is a postcolonial position on global politics and social reality; while others write about it, he actually practices it! Funny, that most Pakistani liberals celebrate such anti-imperialist leaders abroad, in the Middle East and elsewhere, but hate the similar traits in a leader back home.
4. Imran Khan is a narcissist
Narcissists don't build cancer hospitals, or have empathy for the poorest, or fight against monstrous powers while paying dearly. Narcissists are weak and they cut deals at first sign of pressure. Imran Khan is a larger than life leader, which can be confused with narcissism.
5. Imran Khan does not believe in a compromise with the other side.
Again, this goes contrary to all the data. He is way more compromising and believes in course correction than anyone else. He will talk to anyone for the betterment of people of Pakistan but he will neither be bullied and will not succumb to pressure, and especially not allow the rot to be shrugged under the rug in the name of a 'compromise'. He will make any compromise, but not the one that goes against his core values and principles.
The fundamental problem with military dictators is that they lack legitimacy back home, hence have to rely on foreign support to survive against their own people.
The more unpopular a military dictator back home, the more likely he is to make big compromises on sovereignty.