I literally cried when my therapist said "toxic family members rarely apologize. They would rather carry their denial to the grave than face the damage they've caused..in their minds, the pain they created was somehow your fault. Sometimes healing means accepting the apology you'l never get."
You do not have to consciously know who you are becoming.
You are eternally expanding, evolving, growing, emerging, transforming, blossoming and being animated from within by a creation song only you can sing.
That is your divine nature.
You deserve community that doesn’t require enmeshment to truly be loved and seen. You shouldn’t have to be exceptional or without boundaries to be offered sanction. You deserve privacy and closeness as you desire.
At this big age when people show signs of hidden animosity or weird energy, I just remove myself. I’m not trying to understand you and I’m not trying to make it make sense