some guy in his 20s

[some guy in his 20s @someguyinhis20s]

Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard?

Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you

Me: Not now Dad

Dad: Not asking for a computer scientist to help, are they?

Me: Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now

Dad: Go and see if turning it off and back on helps

[Kimiyah-Vette C8 @boujiebaddie]

Donald J. Trump said Kamala would raise gas prices by 25%.

Thank God we avoided that nightmare. Today gas prices are only up by 62%.

[JulesNader386 @Julesnader386]

Quick reminder that @hasanthehun actually shares the beliefs of Democratic Voters and the House Democrats attacking him do not.

[Matt Rein @MatthewARein]

the "tiger" being referenced here is Hitler btw

[ProphetZac @ZacAintWack]

If you think this is fine you’re a fucking idiot

[Jim Stewartson, Decelerationist 🇨🇦🇺🇦🇺🇸 @jimstewartson]

Holy shit. A THOUSAND TRADES A MONTH.
50 trades per day. This is a TEAM.

He hired professional traders to use inside information to make money for him on the stock market while he uses every lever in the federal toolkit to pump up equity prices.

Staggering organized crime.

[JerryRigEverything @ZacksJerryRig]

Donald Trump just made more money in one month via insider trading than Nancy Pelosi did in 37 years.

[Jemele Hill @jemelehill]

I will never understand why this is legal. It’s straight up price gouging.

[Fugitive Caesar @ThomBrady5]

The biggest story going overlooked this week is the Trump administration did a federal investigation into the owner of the Lakers, to pressure him to sell, so that Bob Iger and a Trump in-law could purchase the team. Mafia level coercion. Not that I care about the ethics

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

Karoline Leavitt announced her resignation 24 hours after she found out that Trump left her for dead on a plane he thought could be shot out of the sky.

[Adam Daly @AdamDalyNews]

NEW: The Staten Island judge who temporarily blocked parts of Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s pied-à-terre tax rollout is himself listed on the sprawling property roll at the center of the case w/@IsabellaGallo_

[amanda moore 🐢 @noturtlesoup17]

I think using an AI version of a candidate in a political advertisement should result in jail time.

[Sky Marchini @rhcm123]

this is an admission of a crime btw; superpacs cannot cooridnate with candidates

[The Road Jess Travelled @JessPected]

So the very thing reproductive rights advocates had been sounding the alarm about.

[Kristy Greenberg @KGreenberg_]

Hurling F-bombs at an 85-year-old scientist who won’t fight back doesn’t make you tough. Staying silent after your own daughter accused Rep. Max Miller of holding a gun to her head, pushing her against a wall, and fracturing your granddaughter’s collarbone makes you a coward.

[em 💌 @polisciqueenn]

it’s very telling of the modern-day republican party that not a single republican politician, not even bernie moreno, has publicly called on max miller to resign

[Andrey X @the_andrey_x]

You killed 567 Palestinian football players in the past three years

[kristopher @kristophershinn]

The best window seat in Washington isn't on an airplane

[Wolfey @WolfeyGlick]

Last September I set out to do something I knew would be nearly impossible - rank all 1025 Pokemon objectively.

Now, after 6 months, 1123 Pokemon ranked, and nearly 11 hours of footage recorded (pre-edit), I am finally ready to unveil my findings to the world.

Video tomorrow

[🌸 paprika 🗡️ @p1nkempress_]

Elon is a pedophile with no friends