Tbh, I kinda think it’s more of a an empathy problem, too, but not in the same way that the claim is making. I don’t view empathy as an inherently good or moral virtue, rather it’s just a psychological experience of being human.
In the case of the text messages from the mechanic - I think that it is far more realistic, empathetic, and probably healthy, for the woman to have empathy for him and think “oh, he was probably just shy and got my number from work instead of asking for it irl. No big deal, I’ll tell him I’m not interested.” Rather than him thinking, “Women are in fear of being attacked by men and if I message her with with this number I have access to, it’s going to traumatize her and make her afraid of getting oil changes, possibly because of some negative past experience she may or may not have had.”
Imagine if you were at a gathering with a bunch of balloons and a war veteran, and someone popped a balloon while blowing them up, unintentionally triggering the veteran’s PTSD. Should the person who popped the balloon be blamed and villainized for triggering the veteran, even if it was a completely benign incident, especially if the balloon popper had no idea of the veteran’s history? No, of course not, that would be crazy! Should the veteran avoid social events out of fear? No! You can have empathy for both people, the one who was triggered and the one who caused it. Unless the person deliberately triggered them, there is no reason to deem them immoral or scary or creepy.
Yes, it’s important to remember that everyone has their own unique experiences, traumas, and triggers and you should treat people with respect. But it is unrealistic to expect all men to treat every woman as someone who will be triggered and scared if they talk to them. It is unrealistic to expect all women to treat all women in a way that won’t ever trigger them, and it’s unrealistic to expect all men to never trigger any man.
I do however think it’s more realistic and healthy for all parties to have empathy for one another and recognize that even though an action may have made you feel uncomfortable or even triggered, that doesn’t mean it was inherently malicious.
@someone41474406@The_Equationist@GarrettPetersen No, you’re definitely wrong. Very clearly you are a creepy person which is why you are so set on defending this guy. You’re doing everything in your power to give him the benefit of the doubt while intentionally ignoring every massive red flag he waves completely out in the open
If she had said “I’m not interested” I’m sure he probably would. I don’t know for sure, but you also don’t know that he wouldn’t. I will agree to disagree, and I sincerely hope you never end up on the receiving end of being globally humiliated because of a social blunder where a benign act gets labelled as being a “massive creep”.
Yes, what he did was inappropriate, which I’ve already said. I just don’t think he needs to be virally reprimanded and have his life ruined because of a one bad decision. Maybe losing his job justifiable because he broke policy, but all the rest, like being humiliated on twitter or even potential legal issues is so unnecessary and blown out of proportion.
Because in my opinion, although it was inappropriate to use the number, it is not worthy of not only losing his job, but getting the police and lawyers involved like OP stated she was planning on doing. There have probably been encounters you’ve had with women that they found “creepy” but they didn’t take it to social media and plan to ruin your life with it. Basically, imo, it’s a huge overreaction.
@waifuterf I remember the days when people would “cold approach” people in coffee shops and busses or subways and everyone was much happier. Zoomers are shooting themselves in the foot by acting like this should be something that’s taboo.
I love how the narrative on this is that he did some big sleuthing and digging in a “database” to find her number, when she most likely just wrote it on some paperwork on a clipboard and he wrote it down from there. Not that that makes it appropriate, but like… he probably did not need to look that hard and the whole “stealing from a company database” just makes him seem creepier than necessary.