mai🍄

RN. 31. 🌎

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

You know when you’re anxious about work for tomorrow that you just don’t want to sleep?
Yeah, that’s me.

I have so many to think about which actually none of it matters.
It does not matter more than sleep does. 🥸

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

2 days grind at work and 3 days to recover and prepare for another 2 days grind.
This is the cycle of my life RN.

I don’t want to be ungrateful for where I am because I can afford to live alone but boy there are times when I just cry out of nowhere. 😬

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

I try. For now, I’ll try to be on top of everything. There’s no one to prove to but myself I hope I can win this season of my life or at least get through it with some grace.
#singleblessedness

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

Was humbled by new work ID. I just look old and worn out. I tried putting a little make up on today for the photo and I look at myself and ask, “who would dare to ask me out?”

Being rejected by an ugly face is a different level men don’t want. 🤣

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

It’s always that one more day at work but I got to tell you, it’s always non-stop.

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

Payday thoughts…
The things that are worth spending for:
Own apartment.
Electricity.
Music subscription.
Good mattress and Pillows
Grocery Delivery
Home cooked meals.

Grateful for being my sole provider. 😇

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

At a crossroads where I am grateful for where my family is at.
I also have to make a decision in my career but I need to give it more time.
I’m not around people, no social circle but it feels like hanging out in my apartment is enough.
And a man, no I’m done, I guess. 🤭

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

If my job could be at least be easier with AI. And if it could not be replaced can they pay us more? Since AI has replaced others maybe the budget can go to me, a bedside, coordinator, waiter, call center agent nurse. 😅

[Nassim Nicholas Taleb @nntaleb]

Wake up.
Every profession deemed white-collar, the middle class dream, is about to be decimated by AI, at a much faster pace than anticipated, with monstrous social consequences.

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

The problem is they all have to have a problem at the same time. I never had a shift where I could just sit by 6pm and then wait for the change if shift. I hate this job. 😢

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

There’s a virtual nurse hiring. I’m truly considering it because my back is ain’t that anymore but because I am very new to the job, IDK if they will even consider me.
Or should I give it some time, maybe a year before I switch to virtual nursing? 🤞

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

Give me strength to get through the 2 12s. I didn’t ask for this to be hard but it is, and I can only pray. This anxiety must just leave at some point. 😭

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

I don’t want to move from my bed, just looking at the blue skies and the leaves on the trees and it’s quiet.
But I have to meal prep and I’m late it’s almost 5 pm. I have things to do before I go to work for 2 straight days again.
At least it’s pay day week. 😒

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

Someone’s giving me a sofa, and I am looking for a sofa in Walmart. I could get a sofa for free, I just need someone to help for it to be transported.
I am sure that I’ll be throwing this sofa down the line, so I don’t know why am I fussing over it. 🫩

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

I still have vouchers from tesco and points I need to use in boots but if I buy stuff there and ship it to me, it’ll cost me more. But I don’t want to loose them points.😭

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

For the past shifts, it’s always in the last few hours or even minutes in my shift that shit things happen.

Am i overthinking it?

Why can’t I just wait for it to be 7pm and hand over like a normal nurse?
Am not working in a critical care, so I need to calm down my nerves.😵

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

Now, it was a shit show, I thought I’ve prepped for everything and then last thing, the admin side of transferring your pt becomes your problem.

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

It’s so weird working only for a day on a big unit because the chances of you seeing the same pts again is very slim.
I am off tomorrow and that’s all I could think of. 🙆🏼‍♀️

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

Mother talked me out of getting a cat. She said all the things I needed to hear.
I can’t manage it but I promise myself I’ll get one if I got in a relationship. That will be my gift to myself.
I will stick to keeping my plants alive for now. One step at a time. 😅

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

It was 63$ for my lashes and brows but boy the cab got me there with like 30$ round trip. I ain’t doing this anymore. Or maybe only every 3 months. And not even anywhere to shop. What a waste of a mall. 🫣

[mai🍄 @sophimetropolis]

I want happiness for my family, even if it’s only a little box of all my stuff. I really wish I could give em more. Sometimes, I wish I am with them but I can’t have it all.
At least, there was a time that I was with them. 😌