Brian Essbe

Former funny guy trying to build cool things

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

one of my recent follows here is an absolute ghoul. just an insanely bad person. but man do i love reading their content. it makes me feel like a decent human

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

@fiorela4193 love to text women their own name, but different. that's the move

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

@erinwouldtweet sounds good your job will be to smile nice

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

my new thing is saying "women in STEM" every time one of my female friends completes any simple technical task like changing the batteries in the tv remote; they love this actually you should try it

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

currently shipping 🚡 and 🔛

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

I'm also convinced now it was fake (also bc of the rapid healing) and caught myself wondering if it was illegal to fake an assassination attempt and then I remember the alleged shooter was killed

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

@catherine_opal2 it's okay to love me, don't try to fight it

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

this French bakery is spooky and it's giving me the crepes

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

@nraymz love u

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

we live in the dumbest timeline

[BART @SFBART]

Get BARTmogged, gasmaxxers!!

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

@imjustdiane this is so rad i love it for you

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

@Roberta_Glass @ThatWeekInSNL to each their own! I have watched it a bunch of times (on my own, not seeing it posted) and I am so in love with it. I think the writing is super clever.

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

@erinwouldtweet : )

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

"Did you give women their own day?"
"Sure thing boss, but an hour short just like you wanted"
"Wait what"

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

gosling is a gift, the two hardest times i've laughed at SNL in recent years in the Beavis and Butthead sketch and in the sketch below when they opened the desk drawer

[Saturday Night Live @nbcsnl]

stop passing notes in class

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

@frogg_gurl watching myself eat would give me anxiety i think

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

as a person who many years ago completed the "50 beers in 48 hours" challenge, I can assure everyone that 100 would be impossible for 99.99% of society

[Definitely Nick @other_st_nick]

If you have no other obligations and you organize your weekend around it I think 100 beers in 48 hours is quite doable. Not smart, but doable

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

[first date]
books? YES! I love books. Not to read of course, but they look very intellectual on the shelf

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

@RichardJohn yeah makes sense

[Brian Essbe @SortaBad]

i have no idea why they build houses like this. you can't even have any furniture on wheels. super stupid

[Fľøkï @Dee_Floki]

Homes in San Francisco